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Stop Same-Side Couples 2k15

*** Before reading, please know that this article is satirical in nature. ***

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Following the decision by the Supreme Court of the Unites States (SCOTUS) to legalize Gay Marriage nationwide, there has been a lot of public support for the cause on social media. I'm sure you've seen the rainbow filter on Facebook profile pictures. According to CNN Money, over 26 million people changed their profile picture using by adding the rainbow filter in the first three days following SCOTUS's monumental decision.

I am fully in support of the decision... buuuuttt it has set a precedent for the acceptance of other more "radical lifestyles" in the United States and around the world. I am in support of gay marriage, so long as we do not allow ourselves to reach the point where we, as a society, are willing to accept and even encourage other lifestyles including pedophilia, incest, and marriage between people and animals.

But the most concerning are Same-Side Couples.

The image below is extremely repulsive. View at your own risk. Image not suitable for children. 18+ only.

I'm sure you've been eating in a restaurant, just casually enjoying your brunch and bottomless mimosas without a care in the world when you notice a couple sitting next to each other ON THE SAME SIDE OF THE TABLE—leaving the other side completely empty. Disgusting. Absolutely disgusting.

I mean, why would couples choose to leave an entire side of the table open?!

I do not want my children growing up in a world in which behavior such as this is acceptable. I would be so embarrassed if I found out my child was exhibiting this type of behavior. This may sound harsh, but I don't think I could ever see my child the same after I found out about them engaging in same-side behavior.

Again, I support the SCOTUS decision regarding same-sex marriage, but what I DO NOT support is when a progressive decision such as this makes way for other "out of the box" lifestyles. Especially when that lifestyle is as horrendous as Same-Side Couples.

In case you didn't catch it from the description or from reading the article itself, this is meant to be entirely satirical. I have no problem with anyone who chooses to sit on the same side of the table in a restaurant. And I want readers to understand that I am fully in support of the queer community and queer rights. I think that legalization of gay marriage should be used to inspire the next generation to be even more loving and accepting to those who are different from themselves.


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