1. “Weekend Update’s” Father Guido Sarducci
“Life is a job. You get $14.50 a day, but after you die, you have to pay for your sins. Stealing a hub cap is around $100. Masturbation is 35 cents. It doesn’t seem like much, but it adds up.”
2. The Space Pope from “Futurama”
He takes a conservative view on robot-human relationships.
3. Sinead O’ Connor as Pope
Let’s she if she does a better job.
4. Fake Pope Tweets
Don’t retweet his tweets if you ain’t following him.
5. Jim Gaffigan as Pope
“You think when the Pope was a little kid, he’d fantasize about eventually becoming Pope? Y’know, like we might about being a professional athlete? Was he eight years old in his backyard going, ‘There he is, the leader of all the catholics!’ (cheers) ‘What a Pope! The best Pope ever!’ (Cheers) The protestants are frightened of this new Pope!”
This post was created by a user and has not been vetted or endorsed by BuzzFeed's editorial staff. BuzzFeed Community is a place where anyone can post awesome lists and creations. Learn more or post your buzz!
- It's on: Hillary Clinton has officially accepted the Democratic party's presidential nomination with some fiery words for Donald Trump 🇺🇸
- Amazon's in its Prime. The company's profits rose 831% this quarter thanks to its growing cloud computing business ☁️💸
- Old-school MTV is returning Aug. 1 with shows like "Daria," "Beavis & Butt-Head," "Cribs," and "Punk'd" 📺 🙌