1. For the most part we enjoy ourselves in there, just like you.
2. The tips aren't bad either.
3. In fact, a number of us do the job to supplement a weekday 9 to 5.
4. You'd be surprised at how well we get to know customers.
5. Which means we can tell how well a regular's work or love life is going.
6. And students, we know if you're failing.
7. Sometimes we do get strange requests.
8. And often witness terrible drunken tomfoolery.
9. We're often surprised at how many women can fit into one cubicle.
10. As well as how many men still wee like children.
11. But their toilet graffiti does occasionally bring a chuckle
12. The main reason we're here though, is to make sure everyone stays F R E S H.
13. With occasional breaks to help out with your nightclub photos.
14. Also, Paco Rabanne 1 Million is REALLY popular right now.
15. But every now and again someone takes it too far and over sprays.
16. Which is only matched in annoyance levels by overeager people with the hair gel.
17. But really, it's just like any other service job.
18. Except there's a few more drunk people.
19. And sorry, but we don't know where the "no spray, no lay" lines orginate from either.
This post is based on an interview with a Somerset-based nightclub toilet attendant who asked to remain anonymous to best project their employment interests. They have been a toilet attendant for 10 years.