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19 Secrets Nightclub Toilet Attendants Would Never Tell You

No spray, no lay.

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3. In fact, a number of us do the job to supplement a weekday 9 to 5.

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Office admins, personal trainers and accountants. There's a lot to us when we're not in the loo.

4. You'd be surprised at how well we get to know customers.

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We bump into you at least three times on a night when you're in a fun-loving state.

We've seen you drunk.

We've seen you wee.

We're like buddies for life now.

5. Which means we can tell how well a regular's work or love life is going.

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Won money at the bookies? Hello again.

Just been promoted? Hello again.

Back on the single market? My friend, let me introduce you to this new spray.

7. Sometimes we do get strange requests.

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Bald men asking for combs?

Customers wanting honest opinions on their chances of pulling in their outfit?

We see and hear a lot.

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10. As well as how many men still wee like children.

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Pulling your pants and trousers down by your ankles to make a schoolboy.

Apparently it makes weeing while drunk easier.

11. But their toilet graffiti does occasionally bring a chuckle

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13. With occasional breaks to help out with your nightclub photos.

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14. Also, Paco Rabanne 1 Million is REALLY popular right now.

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The fellas can't get enough of it.

This post is based on an interview with a Somerset-based nightclub toilet attendant who asked to remain anonymous to best project their employment interests. They have been a toilet attendant for 10 years.

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