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Football In The UK Vs. Football Around The World

Best league in the world? Yeah right, mate.

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Here's how a typical player signing is announced in the UK.

#mufc has reached an agreement with PSV Eindhoven & Memphis Depay for the player's transfer, subject to a medical.

The transfer rigmarole in British football is a rinse-repeat formula of gossip reports and "Who are they?" news that settles into a nice, dignified announcement when the deal is done. Familiar. Repetitive. Yawn.

Compare it to how transfer news is announced in the MLS.

When you find out you're reunited with #bae in LA. #StevieLAG


Look at how devoid of dignity and proper research it is. Robbie Keane was terrible at Liverpool, but despite that, the MLS was so excited about Steven Gerrard joining him at LA Galaxy they got someone to fire off a tweet about how he'll be causing trouble with him and didn't give a damn about deleting it, despite how ham-fisted it was.

With Financial Fair Play here to stop silly money being thrown about, the British transfer window could do with some sherbet-addled press releases to get us excited about signings again.

This is how fans do banners in British football.

Keys [ ✓ ] Wallet [ ✓ ] Ticket [ ✓ ] Laminated banter [ ✓ ] Dignity [ ]

Chelsea fans laminated their banter against Liverpool.


A grown man handed out, to other grown men, laminated pieces of card mocking Steven Gerrard, and Chelsea fans said, "Yes, this is an appropriate thing to do at a football game that will be heavily televised and photographed."


Compare it to fan banners found on the continent.

The fans at Borussia Dortmund's "Yellow Wall" in Westfalenstadion are some of the most vociferous in Europe. When they want to unfurl a banner, they tend to go for a massive tifo display.


Matchday cuisine at the football in the UK isn't much better.

Twitter: @bluecitywugger

Food in British stadiums tends to be a choice between carbs with brown and other carbs with brown, all washed down with brown liquid that can't quite decide if it is meant to be tea or coffee.

In the winter, fans get to the point and drink Bovril, which is just brown carbs.

Especially when you put it against the half-time food served in South Africa.

Bunny chow, a dish consisting of curry and beans served in half a loaf of bread, is a popular half-time snack when watching games in Africa. Maximum meat and no litter after.

Man of the Match awards in the UK are pretty simple.

SNAPSHOT: @MarcPugh7 picks up @SkySports' man of the match award for #AFCBvWFC: #afcb

As with many British awards, we opt for the quiet, humble handing of accolades.

Unlike Man of the Match awards in the rest of the world.

Javier Balboa et Fabrice Ondama désignés #manofthematch en compagnie de nos #fanofthematch #CAN2015

Orange had fans present Man of the Match awards at this year's African Cup of Nations, which meant we got spectacular images like this.


British team mascots are friendly and all that...

...but across the Atlantic, they have an IRL lumberjack laying waste to stuff.

Portland Timbers have Timber Joe, a logger who slices a slab of wood every time the team scores.

Lumberjacks > dinosaurs.

A team game needs team celebrations.


Stjarnan FC in Iceland could have used their time doing something valuable like practising corners, but instead dedicated themselves to this dance to entertain us. Good choice.


But you have to go elsewhere to get that really formidable stadium feel.


PAOK Salonika fans in Greece decided to create a ring of flares against hated rival Olympiakos in April 2014 to give the match that extra edge.