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    35 Things That Happen On Every Episode Of "The Walking Dead"

    *Repeats "it's all about survival" multiple times*

    1. First of all, the opening scene will start with a chaotic flashback/forward where walkers are being too damn clingy...

    2. Then a member of the group says an insanely sassy comment, AND CREDITS ROLL.

    3. You'll spend the next 30 seconds of the theme song trying to determine what the episode is actually going to be about.

    4. Rick mentions "survival."

    5. Carl will piss you off just by being Carl.

    6. Rick will do that weird squinty thing with his eyes, and you know he hates the person he's talking to.

    7. A total douche in the new safe zone gets off on starting a fight.

    8. There will be a shot solely dedicated to a part of Daryl's sweaty, perfectly dirty body.

    9. Rick leads the group in absurdly clean cars.

    10. There's an insanely suspenseful moment where you think someone is about to bite the dust by opening a door...


    12. Rick mentions something about "survival" again.

    13. Judith cries at the worst possible moment, and it's really frustrating.

    14. Daryl will touch a walker, and you'll wish it was you.

    15. And then at least one walker will die a horrifically violent death.

    16. Rick will do anything it takes to avoid making eye contact with somebody when talking to them.

    17. Literally nothing happens for 15 minutes in the middle of the episode, and your mind starts to wander.

    18. And you begin to think about how bad everyone must smell to pass the time...

    19. And then after getting a good look at everyone, you'll realize their rate of facial hair growth is totally off.

    20. Just when everyone seems calm, SOMEBODY decides to let a walker get inside a safe zone, and everything goes to hell.

    21. The episode starts to pick up speed again when a ton of walkers randomly appear out of nowhere.

    22. Then your eye catches that one walker that could potentially be really hot.

    23. And there's a rogue walker who sucks at being a walker.

    24. Then Michonne effortlessly slays walkers with her samurai sword, and continues to be more badass than anyone else.

    25. Carol locks it up by doing everyone else's dirty work and killing somebody just 'cause it feels right.

    26. Daryl will do something totally gross but look incredibly hot doing it.

    27. Then Carol and Daryl will share a moment of quippy dialogue and sexual tension.

    28. Rick mentions "survival" again.

    29. Abraham will find a way to bring up Washington D.C.

    30. And Eugene's mullet game will be on point.

    31. Maggie will look like she hates everything and will be stressed the hell out while holding a rifle.

    32. And Glenn gets completely shafted but will do his best just to keep everyone's shit together.

    33. There will be a devastating death in the group that will ruin you for episodes to come.

    34. Dramatic blues music starts to wrap up the episode, and you pray to God it isn't the beginning of another Beth song.

    35. Finally, there will be a crazy-ass cliffhanger that makes you come back for the next episode... but at least Daryl is safe.