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30 Thoughts College Seniors Have As Told By Michael Scott

These are all thoughts that have crossed or will cross your mind at one point as a college senior.

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1. Who makes capstone at 8:30am?

Only Satan would think that time would be appropriate and "rewarding" for his students.

2. I need coffee. Do you think Starbucks delivers yet?

Multiple times a day does this thought cross your mind.

3. Why is my teacher actually lecturing for the entire class period?

WHO DOES THAT? EVERYONE KNOWS YOU ARE SUPPOSED TO LET US OUT EARLY.

4. If attendance isn't mandatory do you actually think I am going to show up?

Definitely not. That is your answer every time.

5. Why does he think I don't know how to fill out a scantron by now?

Let's just not explain it because you are wasting my time even more than this test that I didn't study for is going to.

6. Can I get away with drinking in class?

Is there a margarita in my coffee cup? Maybe.

7. Why does my teacher actually think I own the book?

There's no way I'm spending $100 on a book I won't use when I can use that on food. Nope.

8. Why do these freshman actually think I am going to contribute to this group project?

Forget it. You should just assume I will be useless.

9. If I ask this girl furiously taking notes to send me her notes, would she do it?

Because I'm sure as hell not taking notes. My Sims are way more important.

10. What am I going to do in this presentation today?

Act confident in the information I know nothing about. Power Point the shit out of it. Obviously.

11. Why did my friends think it was okay to go get margs without me?

This dumb class is getting in the way of my life.

12. Why hasn't anyone responded to my job inquiries?

Because Walmart is always accepting applications right?

13. Oh yeah freshman year is hard..living on your own boo hoo..I just found out about how much car insurance is so top that.

I win. I will win this argument. Give up you innocent child.

14. Why does my friend think it's okay to tell my teacher I have the assignment to give to her to turn in...

Why would she think I have it? I didn't even show up to work on it. Idiot.

15. Oh it's multiple choice? Definitely not studying.

That's plenty of options for me to guess from.

16. How many times is appropriate to email the person who interviewed me for a job?

Because nothing is better than 7 follow up emails. The anxiety is at a new level.

17. Why does my professor actually think I am listening?

But I guess I'll just spew off some bullshit for 5 minutes and make it seem like I am highly intelligent and end with a question so they can't even question what came out of my mouth.

18. They didn't actually think I would put myself in a group NOT with my friends for a project? Blasphemy.

Not a chance in hell.

19. Why would she even bother asking me how I am or what I am doing after college?

I don't even know what I am having for dinner much less where I will be living after May. Screw off.

20. Is it weird to have ice cream for lunch?

Nope. Cookies n cream for the win.

21. Why is our final cumulative?

I NEVER LEARNED IT IN THE FIRST PLACE WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I WILL REMEMBER IT 4 MONTHS LATER?!?!

22. Why do they actually think an in class assignment will be productive? Have they learned nothing from teaching college students?

That just gives me more time to spend on Pinterest with your approval but if you say so.

23. I'm supposed to pay how much to graduate from this place?!

As if tuition wasn't enough.

24. How am I supposed to function without my friends?

Who will remind me to wear matching shoes and tell me I look pretty?

25. I should get them all something nice for graduation to say thanks for putting up with me but what?

Pic collages are sufficient.

26. Why would someone ever take a extra year of college?

They're gonna regret that.

They're gonna regret that.

27. Why is this guy judging me for drinking at 11am on a Wednesday?

Mind your business sir.

28. Why does my teacher think that I am going to over achieve on this paper?

I will do the bare minimum to pass and that's it. Not a sentence more.

29. Wait today is graduation?

30. WHY DO I EVER HAVE TO LEAVE THIS PLACE?!

These are the greatest four years of your life and you are forever going to remember the memories and friends that you made there so don't blink.

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