Think, click, type, delete, repeat. My attempt at writing the paper that has been described as "one of the most important papers I will ever write" by a college counselor has not been a fruitful endeavor. My people skills and story telling expertise have not translated well into my attempts at writing a single essay that could be submitted to colleges, showing them my array of talents, interests, and passions and how who I am is so much more important than what my grade point average is.
I learn with my hands, by doing, by experiencing, by relating with the material, so being forced to sit still in a hardwood chair at a hardwood table in a cold room while the warm sun is shining on my face and slowly setting is a form of cruel and unusual punishment for me. Sitting still for long periods of time is hard enough but when you add the stress and pressure of writing the paper that "will determine your future," it is almost comical to expect someone to complete this task successfully. Sitting still does not help me with anything, aside from assisting the drift from one daydream unto the next.
Six hundred words are used to determine my future. My future is worth more than just six hundred words. Anyone's future is worth more than just six hundred words. I am jealous of those who are "pointy" enough to have one goal to strive towards, one impression to make, one story to tell, but I deeply empathize with the people like me. The ones perfectly unfortunate enough to be classified as "well-rounded." Which story should we tell? Is there just one that genuinely and completely defines who we are? Can we accept painting only a fraction of our picture for the people who are determining our destinies for us?
Do I tell the story of the hopeful engineer building an experimental airplane with her best friend and her favorite teacher, or would you rather read about the thirteen-year member of Girl Scouts who found her solace in teaching younger girls how to be independent and strong, or rather yet would you like to hear about the girl struggling yet fighting to fix the perpetual sadness and emptiness that she can't seem to escape from for longer than a week at the most? Each of these stories show important parts of my life, but they are just that: parts. There isn't one story, moment, experience that proves to be a synopsis of my life.
My proudest achievements and successes are the ones seen as the smallest. These little victories are ultimately more substantial than any certificate or trophy or title you may receive. Laughing until you cry from sheer happiness, the bliss found in photographing people in their natural element, the effervescence of being in the crowd at a concert and feeling like you are a part of something larger. These feelings of pure happiness show that the little moments that bring you peace and happiness are the ones you need to cherish and keep with you always.
As my six hundred words for you come to a close, I will make my final point and move on forwards, as life goes. I am so much more than my grades, my achievements, and my demographic information. I strive for happiness, perfection, and peace but know that all three are impossible in the same moment. I always look at the bright side but am not ignorant to the darkness that exists in equality to the light.
Thank you for lending me your time.