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Simple Ways To Stop Shaming Women

If you don't like shaming women and want to stop it, read this.

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Certainly all of us have experienced some form of "slut-shaming," or the shaming of a woman's sexual identity, at some point in our lives. Regardless of what end of the stick you have found yourself on, many of us shame women every day and either don't realize it or pass it off as inconsequential.

But to put it frankly - it is highly consequential. If you want a world that respects women - stop shaming them.

No one wants to think that words or thoughts have the potential to perpetuate a culture where young girls believe their value is contingent on their sexuality, or where rape victims are accused of "asking for it," or where the bullying of a "slut" could result in suicide.

I'm not saying that the following suggestions are going to completely ameliorate the issue of shaming women. But they are just a few simple ways to recognize and correct your mindset into one that is set on respecting women.

Recognize your thoughts.

It's not possible to change other people's mindsets before evaluating your own and finding the flaws within it.

Be aware of your mind when a woman's appearance, sexuality, or sexual identity bothers you or grabs your attention in a negative way.

Does that woman's tight, skin-bearing clothing bother you? How do you react when your friends tell you about a girl who has slept with several men in a month? Does a woman posting skimpy pictures on social media upset you?

So why do you feel that way?

Recognize that if you find yourself thinking those thoughts, then you have participated in shaming women. Point-blank. However, this does not mean you are bad person - after all you're reading about how to stop shaming.

So why does the sight of a woman's skin tight clothes or cleavage upset you? How does a woman's safe and healthy sex life affect you in any way? Likewise, how does one's social media decisions really concern you whatsoever?

Most likely you have no justifying answer for these questions.

End generalizations.

It's time to recognize that there's no single way to define why a woman wears what she wears. She is the only one who can answer why she decides to dress in a certain manner and she is the only one who should have a say in it. Clothes don't speak for themselves, people do.

Not every girl dresses for boys. But this does not mean that it is bad to dress for boys and we should not spite women who do. A woman can dress to impress herself, other women, or men - and that is her choice.

Not every girl who wears skimpy clothes has low self-esteem. This is simply not true - just as no generalization is true. If we continue to spread the idea that women wearing skin-bearing clothes are vulnerable, then that perpetuates rape culture and shaming even further. And if a woman does wear skimpy clothes because she feels she needs to validate herself then why the hell are we shaming her and not embracing her?

Not every girl who dresses conservatively is "prude." Remember this goes both ways in that we also should not shame women who do not feel comfortable, or simply choose not to wear revealing clothing. That is their choice and we have no right to generalize their sexuality or self-image.

Not every girl who sleeps with many men is seeking attention or insecure. The number of men a woman wishes to sleep with is up to her and should not affect your perception of her self-identity. Likewise women who do sleep with multiple men because of an insecurity, or because they simply don't want to are not to be shamed under any means.

Remember this distinction.

Conceited vs. Confidence

Often times women shame other women because they feel they are conceited due to their clothing or makeup preferences. Here are some examples of the difference between being conceited and confident - so we get these straight once and for all.

Conceited

"I look better than you do."

"You should look more like I do."

Confident

"I look good."

"I'm not ugly."

"I love myself."

"This dress makes me look fucking amazing."

A crucial step in ending shaming is allowing women to love themselves. The concept that we should only encourage people with low self-esteem to love themselves needs to end. Let everyone love who they are - from the least confident to most confident. Every single person deserves that - don't take that away from them.

And finally, speak up and set an example.

You don't have to be aggressive the next time you experience shaming - but if you feel comfortable go ahead and direct the conversation in a different direction or offer some wisdom on why it's wrong.

The first step to making a change is changing yourself and then leading by example. Trust me - people will notice and you will make a difference.

Here's a good start - share this post.

Thanks, everyone.

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