Just right OCD (also known as symmetry OCD, organizational OCD, and perfectionism OCD) deals primarily with the obsessive fear that something is not precisely as it should be. Nowadays, being a perfectionist sounds cool, real cool. But the truth is that many people are just calling themselves the title, and they never actually experienced that much pain caused by perfectionism in their lives. Being a perfectionist sometimes means mental illnesses, especially if you have Just Right OCD. So today, I would like to share 11 ways with you to find out if you child has this type of OCD.
1. Does your child have contamination OCD?
If you are not sure, please check out another article in this series: http://www.buzzfeed.com/bwzheng/11-ways-to-spot-if-your-kids-have-ocd-hand-washin-2205g The reason I bring contamination OCD up is although some people with this type are afraid of germ or getting sick, for some other people, washing hands is just a ritual, what it really represents is the sufferer's pursue for perfection, that "Just right"(or Just clean) feeling. You as the parent need to find out what motivates your child to keep washing their hands, is it because they don't want to get sick or they want the "clean" feeling?
2. Is your child redoing things?
Repetition is a terrible compulsion. It's not only time-consuming, since you are doing one thing over and over and over again, but also very exhausting, since you are doing one thing over and over and over again. And worst of all, repetition can happen to everything, so even when you fix one ritual, it can appear in another form.
3. Is your child finding it hard to read a book?
"Did I get that last part right? I don't think so. What if I get it wrong? Let's read again." This is what's going on in an OCD child's mind when he/she is reading. They would read the same thing over and over again. How can you finish a book while reading like this? Actually, he/she can, but your child may need 2x or 3x more time to do so. Therefore, as a parent, you should not be focusing on whether your child can finish a book, rather how much time they are spending to finish a book.
4. Is your child finding it hard to write a paper?
Same as reading, your child may think "I need to write everything correctly; otherwise this paper is not perfect." However, if you child is in school, they may need to turn in the paper before a deadline. While some of OCD suffers failed at the deadline, some others can work extra hard just to do that same thing a normal person does. They will have to reduce the time they sleep or other daily routines just to get extra time for them. Thus, look closely to see if your child's daily routine is broken, then get support if needed.
5. Is your child often concerning about symmetry?
This is just another form of perfectionism, and this can be everything, whether it's two photo frames on the wall or two lines on a paper. This should be simple to notice if you child is doing it. For example, imagine you are wearing a pants with two legs of different lengths. And everyone else is telling you it's the same, but you know it's not. You want to fix it so badly, thus later you cut the longer leg short; however, an OCD patient would still think they are not the same length. After doing it over and over again, he/she can never find the symmetry because there isn't one. Nothing is perfect. You just end up with a short instead of a pair of pants.
6. Is your child constantly cleaning something?
Your child is seeking the "Just right" or "Just clean" or "Just perfect" feeling. He/she may be spending a long time cleaning something. This also involves repetition, so this is obviously time-consuming as well as exhausting. Don't go too hard on your child if you think he/she is cleaning anything excessively. He/she is in pain, too. Talking to him/her gently and guide him/her to get help.
7. Is your child doing mental review?
This is another mental ritual. Even when your child is doing something else, if his/her mind seems drifting away, he/she may still reviewing things they did and whether it's perfect or not mentally. Gently guide them back to reality is the best thing you can do.
8. Does your child looks upset or even angry when something is not placed just right?
The frustration caused by imperfections can never be over-exaggerated. The "off" feeling is like the worst nightmare for any OCD sufferers. If you child display upset or angry when something is not perfect, your child may have signs of "Just Right" OCD.
9. Can your child move on without concerning about something being perfect?
Your child may find it hard to move on without keep thinking about the imperfection and the "disaster" it may happen. Sometimes mental review can help them feel less anxious, but sometimes they just decided they won't do anything else unless everything is perfect.
10. Does your child thinks if he/she don’t make things perfect, something bad would happen?
The motive behind your child's behavior is always crucial. For many perfectionist, perfectionism is about a great feeling. But for others, it can mean a precaution they do to make sure bad won't happen. Trying to find the motive behind your child's behavior and see if it he/she is having intrusive thoughts about catastrophic things.
11. Is your child categorizing things into black or white?
In your child's mind, the world may just be black and white. Something is either perfect or imperfect. There's no grey area. This black and white thinking is very dangerous and is one of the most common cognitive distortions of OCD. Let your child know that he/she doesn't always need to win. There can be a grey area between winning or losing and it's just as acceptable as the two options.
To be honest, I hate when people calling themselves perfectionists while they never actually experienced the pain caused by it. Anything so extreme should be consider as mental health issues, and if your children have several symptoms I mentioned in this article, I hope you can pay more attention to him/her and figure out the best way to help them. Life is not always about winning, or losing. It's also about normal days. So tell your children there's nothing so simple as black and white, there's a huge grey area waiting for them to discover!
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