7 Things You Should Be Prepared For In "Harry Potter And The Cursed Child"

If you haven’t gotten around to it yet, here are a few more…interesting moments you should be prepared for in Cursed Child. If you’re still dodging spoilers like rogue bludgers—beware! This is NOT a spoiler free article!

By now, you've probably got the gist of the newest Harry Potter story, Harry Potter and the Cursed Child.

The script of the London stage play hit stores on Harry's birthday, July 31st, and rumors about the plot have been circulating for months. Time traveling shenanigans with Albus Severus Potter and Scorpius Malfoy? Trying to spare Cedric Diggory? (Get it?) Voldemort and Bellatrix's secret daughter?

Potterheads are definitely split on the subject. Some are ecstatic about the return of their childhood, and some of us are…less than thrilled about the supposed plot lines. A lot of us wrote similar stuff in our fanfictions…in middle school…

For all its zany plot points, the play is definitely worth reading. It's a touching development on some of our favorite characters, with a few really funny moments. But if you haven't gotten around to it yet, here are a few more…interesting moments you should be prepared for in Cursed Child.

1. Hermione is the Minister for Magic.

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Despite Hermione’s tough talk to Rufus Scrimgeour about staying out of politics and doing something “useful” with her life, in Cursed Child she appears as the Minister for Magic. Since J.K. Rowling also confirmed that after the Battle of Hogwarts, Hermione finished her seventh year at Hogwarts, worked in the Department for the Regulation and Control of Magical Creatures and Department of Magical Law Enforcement, all in nineteen years later, the girl definitely moves fast!

2. Scorpius might not be Draco’s child.

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Scorpius might be the spitting image of his father, but there are a lot of rumors flying about in the magical community—like that Scorpius is actually Voldemort's kid. Apparently Draco couldn't have kids, so he sent his wife into the past to get down with the Dark Lord. But that's kind of crazy, right? I mean, Voldemort with a secret kid?

3. Literally everyone knows that Cedric was a spare.

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I don't know how many people Harry told about that night in the graveyard, but he must have been pretty specific with all those details. There are at least five references to the whole "kill the spare" thing. All the kids know Cedric was a spare. Voldy's daughter Delphi knows Cedric was a spare. Even Cedric's dad knows he was a spare. I can almost hear Voldemort from his grave—"Come on, guys, that was one time!"

4. The trolley lady is actual an ancient, spikey monster. With pumpkin pasty grenades.

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Yeah. Read that again. The little old lady who sells candy grows spikes and attacks people. And those tasty treats that she sells? Sometimes explode. She tries to stop Albus and Scorpius from escaping the train to see Delphi, which leads to this whole fight scene on top of the Hogwarts Express. And I quote: "Her hair wild. Her spikes particularly spikey."

5. Sometimes bookcases eat people in the Ministry of Magic.

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Whenever Harry, Ron and Hermione broke into the Ministry of Magic, they got chased by Death Eaters and had to run for their lives. They made it look easy! When Albus, Scorpius and Delphi break into Hermione's office to steal a time-turner, they're almost consumed by bookcases. Somehow, a little less glamorous.

6. The kids inflate Cedric’s head and set off fireworks that say “Ron Loves Hermione.”

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Okay, I'm not entirely sure what to say about this one, guys. Albus and Scorpius are trying to ruin Cedric's chance of winning the second task to save his life, and fix some time-travelling mistakes they made that stopped Ron and Hermione ever falling in love. Instead they embarrass Cedric so badly that he becomes a Death Eater, kills Neville, and helps Voldemort win the Battle of Hogwarts. Talk about the Butterfly Effect.

7. Harry is transfigured into Lord Voldemort.

Warner Bros. / Via giphy.com

So present-day Harry goes back to the night his parents died and poses as past-day Voldemort so that when present-day Delphi tells past-day Voldemort not to try and kill past-day Harry, she's really telling present-day Harry not to kill past-day Harry, and past-day Voldemort tries to kill past-day Harry anyway, which preserves the space-time continuum…right?

What were your favorite parts of Harry Potter and the Cursed Child? Share in the comments below.