Needless to say, this image needs to be kept as far away as possible from Bourdain's newborn daughter. Nobody should ever see their father look as if he's about to share a dirty, possibly inappropriate secret.
Editorial note: Whoa! You've found a super-old post here on BuzzFeed, from an earlier era of the site. It doesn't really represent where we are anymore, and may in fact be totally broken, but we're leaving it up as a part of our early history.