It'll be a true wonder if your kid doesn't turn out like Cory Kennedy. The younguns these days are reading books about gay penguins, fondling dildo-shaped aquapets, and now giving each other tattoos with the GR8 TaT2 Maker.
Editorial note: Whoa! You've found a super-old post here on BuzzFeed, from an earlier era of the site. It doesn't really represent where we are anymore, and may in fact be totally broken, but we're leaving it up as a part of our early history.