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19 Ways You Can Learn To Love Carbs, Your Sworn Enemy

Don't be afraid to connect with the starch in your life.

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How can you practice tolerance and love this summer?

  1. Take carbs to the beach.
  2. Don't feed carbs to sharks.
  3. Instead of hurting carbs, talk about your feelings. Speak openly about your gluten free days. Apologize for the past.
  4. Introduce carbs to your parents. Ask carbs if you can meet their parents. Celebrate your cultural differences.

  5. When you meet carbs' parents, don't mention your family's fascist low-carb history.
  6. Don't be surprised if carbs' dad is a sweet potato.
  7. Learn about sweet potatoes. Try to pick up some of the language. Whatever you do, don't call him a yam - it's insensitive.
  8. Plan a road trip with carbs. Road trips are proven to make you optimistic and wise, which are good qualities in friends.

  9. Sheath your light saber.
  10. Invite carbs over to Netflix and chill.
  11. Avoid mentioning the time you and your mom went on the paleo diet and swore a blood oath against refined flour.
  12. Ask carbs if they’d like to share a coke. Do not poison the coke.
  13. Take carbs to the shooting range. Shoot targets, not carbs.
  14. Get a dog together.
  15. If your carb desires to become one of the 8 grains used in 8-grain bread, support their dreams - even when times are tough.
  16. Pick a carb – pasta? potatoes? rice? - and be loyal.
  17. Give each other pet names, like Tinker Toast or Corn Cake.
  18. Let carbs pick the restaurant sometimes.
  19. Offer to be the big spoon. Carbs love that.

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