WANTED: "Boyfriend" For East Hampton Weekend

Some very real responses to a fake craigslist post looking for a fake boyfriend for a three-day weekend.

The original post which sadly got flagged and then removed :(

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Okay so here's the deal...

I broke up with my boyfriend three months ago (it's whatever, we don't need to get into it) but need someone to go home with this weekend since I refuse to let my sister have all the fun/attention.

Requirements: Age: 28-38ish. Blue Blood-y, credible job (read: investment banking, financial advising, or some other BS dealing with money). Read the Times (newspaper not the magazine) and some other financial mag my dad will totally lose it over. Know your way around a conversation about whatever popular sport is happening now without being super into it. Please drink alcohol but don't be some crazy alcoholic (frat boys need not apply). Be ready to act like i'm the apple of your eye and like we've been dating for the past six months (note: we'll need to spend the drive out aligning our stories!)

Non-negotiable: Good looking (think Ryan Gosling or Leo--if Caroline think's Brad's the hottest guy this wknd, she's got another thing coming!!), coiffed hair, six-pack (minimum) and know a thing or two about men's fashion (if topsiders are your ONLY summertime footwear, don't bother applying). While on the topic of sailing, last year while we were out my dad practically came on Brad for saying some shit like 'starrboard' to him so please know their stupid boat language/code and be prepared to speak it.

Optional: A sick fucking car. If you don't own one, consider renting or borrowing one. We will NOT be riding the fucking Jitney out this year. I'm not giving Caroline anymore dinnertime fodder.

Full disclosure: No sex, but in exchange you get to spend three days at one of the sickest homes in EH (ps we have staff). Also, if you play your cards right, there might be a hand job in it for you plus if you let me drink on the drive out, possibly some road head (#traffic). Also, let's be real, if I get drunk enough and hate myself enough because my older sister is superior to me in every fucking way, I'll totally probably fuck you.

Me: 5'8, Blonde, 0/2 (still "bigger" than Caroline but only slightly, whatever, i've got bigger boobs).

Talk soon!!! xoxo

And then came the responses...Some found the post amusing...

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Some found it erotic...

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Some took it seriously...

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Far too seriously...

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Some matched fire with fire (fire=comedy)

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And finally...what our poster probably wanted most...

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offer accepted!