10 Signs You Might Buy A Baby

This week in China, a doctor admitted that she has been stealing newborn babies from the hospital where she worked, and then selling them to human traffickers. This raises a lot of questions, but the most important one clearly is: "Have I bought a baby?" Let's figure out if you're a monster.

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You Often Confuse Infants (Which Are Not Readily Available) With Packs Of Gum (Which Are Plentiful)

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Your Nickname In High School Was Baby McBuyins

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You Get Blackout Drunk To Forget About Your Empty Womb

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The Small Dog In Your Large Purse Doesn’t Make Enough Human Sounds

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You Love the Part in "Gremlins" Where The Dad Buys A Mogwai From A Chinese Person Except The Part Where The Mogwai Isn't An Infant

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You Seem To Have A Baby In Your Arms Yet You Nor Anyone Around You Is Lactating

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You Refer To Adoption As "A Poor Man's Game"

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You Are A Magician Who Has Been Wanting To Add Some Hot Pepper To His “Bunny In The Hat” Trick

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You Are A Lion With A Dark Interest In E-Commerce

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You Love The Part In "Gremlins" Where The Mogwai Is Surrounded By Baby Gremlins Except The Part Where The Mogwai Births The Baby Gremlins, Which You Refer To As "A Poor Mogwai's Game"