Aunt Announced She Got Chlamydia, Dad Threw Dog Poo In Nephew's Face, And 23 More Trashy Things That Happened At Family Thanksgivings

    "She was responsible for bringing the dessert. She showed up three hours late, and instead of bringing dessert, she brought an open bag of frozen pierogis. It was a real downer."

    Thanksgiving is a wonderful holiday because it's all about spending it with your loved ones. But, sometimes, things don't exactly pan out like you'd like them to, and Thanksgiving can turn into a day full of infighting or having to put up with relatives that you would rather not ever have to see.

    A family at Thanksgiving

    And I had that in mind recently when I stumbled upon this old Reddit thread by user u/IAmA_Wolf where they asked: "What is the trashiest thing somebody has done at your family Thanksgiving?"

    1. "Grandma threatened to shit in the turkey if we didn't let her watch Jeopardy."


    2. "My aunt, uncle, and cousins make no food and take 90% of it home. They also get there late and leave first."


    Empty dishes

    3. "My aunt decided to announce she got chlamydia as we started to eat."


    4. "The woman my cousin had just married stole a Costco-sized box of individually wrapped Cheez-Its packages from our garage. I just happened to notice they were gone when putting food in the fridge. Asked about it publicly, and she locked up, started stuttering, and went to get them out of her car. She returned with the excuse: 'I thought these were mine. I have a box just like them at home.'"


    5. "My uncle poured Crown Royal on his turkey and ate it."


    6. "My cousin always says she’ll bring the bread. She's always at least an hour late, shows up with her 'dick of the week,' and a bag of sliced sandwich bread, or stale rolls."


    7. "She was responsible for bringing the dessert. She showed up three hours late, and instead of bringing dessert, she brought an open bag of frozen pierogis. It was a real downer."


    8. "One of my aunts found out her husband was sleeping with her brother. She found one of her husband's shirts (from a vacation they took) with cum on it in her brother's bedroom when she went to the bathroom. She asked her brother why he had his shirt, and he told her. I wasn’t surprised, though, TBH."


    9. "My uncle shot the TV because of how the Lions were playing. This was back in '77."

    "It was a 17-inch black and white TV, with two knobs — one for VHF channels and one for UHF. He and my dad had started drinking early, and the Lions were awful. After a bad play late in the game, he strolled into the bedroom, picked up his revolver, and shot the TV. We ate dinner shortly after and then went to my grandma's house to watch the Cowboys game."


    10. "My husband's brother and his sister-in-law (who was married to his OTHER brother) always disappeared for about 20-40 minutes at the same time. This happened for four years in a row before anyone got nosey enough to go looking for them. Sister-in-law is now married to the Thanksgiving hookup brother."


    11. "Last year, my husband's grandma hosted Thanksgiving dinner at her house and asked us to buy and make the turkey. (Not even the trashiest part). We had to go spend Thanksgiving with my husband's dad's side that morning, so we dropped the turkey off on our way to his dad's house. His grandma said that they would be eating at 4 p.m. We arrived back at his grandma's house around 3:45 p.m., and everyone had already eaten all the food. Including the entire turkey."


    An eaten turkey

    12. "My mother told our aunt to help herself to some leftovers, and she took a full fifth bottle of $350 whiskey. She got called out on it and claimed to have 'accidentally grabbed it.' She returned it half full — so, either she chugged some in the car or dumped some out in spite."


    13. "Aunt took all of the leftover turkey, all of it."


    14. "My uncle and grandfather don't have a good relationship, but were tolerating each other because Thanksgiving. My uncle was cooking lasagna, and my grandfather decided to help, so he grated the cheese. He did this in another room, because the kitchen was full of other people cooking — we have a big Thanksgiving, maybe 15-20 who love to eat. I had brought in the cheese, and everything was going fine."

    "Flash-forward to dinnertime: The food is coming out, and as tradition dictates, we always start with lasagna. My grandfather made some joke like, 'I know you hate me, but at least I'm grate,' and then, shit hit the fan. My uncle literally went into a rage and was yelling at everyone because we didn't tell him he was using 'tainted' cheese. Then said 'f#@# it' and proceeded to flip the table ALL the food was on. 

    Then, my grandfather called him outside to settle the score, which resulted in two grown men fist-fighting in the backyard, culminating with my grandad getting thrown into the pond we lived off of, and slicing his leg on a jagged rock that he landed on. The rest of us ordered Chinese food and kicked my uncle out, and my grandfather refused the hospital because he had a little too much 'holiday joy' in him at the time. Surprisingly, my uncle hasn't come to any holiday get-togethers for years now."


    15. "My father’s girlfriend sat at the head of the table at my house and acted like she was the hostess while monopolizing the entire conversation. I was her waitstaff. It was my first time meeting her."

    "Also, she said I should eat very little to watch my figure (it’s my Thanksgiving meal?), that I should dye my hair (I like my natural color), that she was disappointed in my husband’s wardrobe choice for the evening (he looked fine), and the grand finale was that she told my father I was a 'bitch' after the night was over after everything I did to make her comfortable."


    16. "My aunt was sent to bed because she was too drunk last year and ended up falling down the stairs an hour later when she tried coming back."


    17. "Faked a heart attack. Here's what happened: My grandmother didn't like my dad very much, and she picked a fight with him, so he decided that he was going home. When my grandmother realized that my stepmom (her daughter) was going to take my dad's side and go home, too, she yelled a lot, and then, as a last ditch effort, dramatically clutched her chest and collapsed very carefully (it was outside, and I guess she didn't want to bump her head or muss her clothes)."

    "Dad offered to call 911, but my grandfather said it wasn't necessary, and when my grandmother realized no one was taking her seriously, she opened her eyes, allowed my grandfather to help her up, and went inside with him while fake sobbing.

    Normally, she was quite nice, but she had her moments and really wasn't happy that her daughter had grown up and had a life. Holidays usually brought out the worst in her. Which was weird because she loved cooking and celebrating."


    A woman sobbing in the grass

    18. "My mom told my cousin's husband not to cuss in front of their baby because she'll eventually repeat it. I get it, not her place maybe? Cousin's husband pulls out his gun and threatens to shoot my mom for telling him what to do. He looks exactly like you'd imagine."


    19. "My dad threw dog shit at my cousin because said cousin farted in my dad's face."


    20. "Every Thanksgiving with my MIL. My wife and I host it. About 15 people come, and everyone brings side dishes as is the custom. Not her mother. She only brings stuff for herself. She proudly announces that whatever she brought is just for her. It's not for diet purposes, because she eats all the other food, too."

    "When dessert makes an appearance, she will make a big scene about wanting the first piece instead of letting the kids get theirs and get in their way. One year, there was a big argument about the corner pieces of a chocolate cake. She went first as usual, and cut herself two corner pieces and took them both. If you want to make little kids cry, do that. She wouldn't give them up, though.

    Also, she treats our guest room and bathroom like a hotel. When she leaves, she takes the toilet paper rolls, the Kleenex box, paper towels, soap, etc."


    A fork in a piece of chocolate cake

    21. "Every year, we had Thanksgiving at my grandparents' house. One year, everyone was there but one aunt. She was outside in her car refusing to come in. Turns out, she had taken out a credit card in my cousin's name while said cousin was in the Navy. Cousin found out on the drive over while opening her mail. Aunt had racked up $10,000-plus in debt for my cousin."


    22. "One of my mom's friends was invited to our Thanksgiving because her kids were at their S.O.'s families for the holiday. That year, my uncle brought a bottle of homemade limoncello to share. The stuff was delicious, but it was also 50% alcohol. Everyone was drinking it out of little 1oz glass cups. My mom's friend instead poured herself a FULL wine glass (1/2 the bottle) when no one was looking, downed it in 15 minutes, and then tried to go back for more. She was passed out drunk at least an hour before dinner even began."


    23. "We were hosting Thanksgiving and prepared all the food ourselves, and my mom spent all morning cooking and baking. My aunt, uncle, and cousins arrived right before dinner and walked in with a White Castle Crave Case and said they just stopped to eat a few minutes ago. We had prepared Thanksgiving just for them, and they decided that they wanted White Castle instead."

    White Castle Crave Case

    24. "My aunt always brought several large Tupperware containers and would begin packing up food for herself immediately after everyone had filled their plate. If you thought you might want seconds, you had to take them the first time because there was often nothing left after she'd filled her containers."

    "Of course, if you did that, she'd make a snide comment about how much food you were eating. I don't recall ever seeing her sit down with a plate to eat with us; she was always in the kitchen packing up the food that she hadn't paid for or prepared.

    Her daughter (28 at the time) wouldn't speak to anyone and fed the shrimp hors d'oeuvres to the cats.

    They're no longer invited."


    And lastly...

    25. "I was at my wife’s uncle's house for Thanksgiving, and his wife decided right after dinner to play their wedding video (because it was also their anniversary weekend). She looks for a half hour to find the videotape, finds it, and gathers the whole dinner party (about 25-ish people) to the back room area, plays the video, and right as she’s walking down the aisle, midway down the aisle, it goes fuzzy and cuts to...Dale Earnhardt’s funeral. My wife's uncle used the wedding tape to record Dale Earnhardt’s funeral! Granted, it was in small-town Michigan where the NASCAR track is, but still! Everyone froze in complete shock, and I started laughing and felt like I was in a sitcom, but it was real life."


    You can read the full thread of responses on Reddit.

    Note: Some responses have been edited for length and/or clarity.