1. Oscar Mayer's "Sack O' Sauce in a Can O' Meat"

2. E-Z Serve Liver Loaf

3. Burns canned meat.

4. Armour Star Ribs in a Can

5. Burns Spork and Speef

6. Hormel Whole Chicken

7. Swifts Meats for Babies

Bonus: Jarred Tamales

These foods make Spam sound downright appetizing.
Nothing says "fresh cooked" like canned hot dogs!
Beef liver is generally disgusting; eating it cold from a can sounds downright nauseating.
Bologna is already slimy and gross, so it makes sense that it would be canned. But hamburgers! This is just plain un-American.
This is just dog food with bones.
What the hell is Speef and Spork? Decorating the Speef with cloves and pimentos does not even disguise the fact that it looks like a can of turd.
Hormel's pitch could not make this sound any more unappetizing:
"eat it cold as it comes from the can."
Why buy expensive formula when your baby is more than capable of digesting pork at three weeks of age? And it comes in a variety of flavors: veal, liver, and heart.
Remember, your baby is never to young to get gout.
Slimy, cold, and wrapped in parchment paper, just like my abuela used to make.