7 Disgusting Retro Canned Foods That You Won’t Believe Existed

These foods make Spam sound downright appetizing.

1. Oscar Mayer’s “Sack O’ Sauce in a Can O’ Meat”

Nothing says “fresh cooked” like canned hot dogs!

2. E-Z Serve Liver Loaf

Beef liver is generally disgusting; eating it cold from a can sounds downright nauseating.

3. Burns canned meat.

Bologna is already slimy and gross, so it makes sense that it would be canned. But hamburgers! This is just plain un-American.

4. Armour Star Ribs in a Can

This is just dog food with bones.

5. Burns Spork and Speef

What the hell is Speef and Spork? Decorating the Speef with cloves and pimentos does not even disguise the fact that it looks like a can of turd.

6. Hormel Whole Chicken

Hormel’s pitch could not make this sound any more unappetizing:

“eat it cold as it comes from the can.”

7. Swifts Meats for Babies

Why buy expensive formula when your baby is more than capable of digesting pork at three weeks of age? And it comes in a variety of flavors: veal, liver, and heart.

Remember, your baby is never to young to get gout.

Bonus: Jarred Tamales

Slimy, cold, and wrapped in parchment paper, just like my abuela used to make.

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