1. You should always know the power of the shoulder pad!
Remember: The bigger the shoulder pad, the closer to God.
2. Nothing says "I will destroy your company and sleep with your husband," like shoulder wings.
3. An Italian cigarette makes the best accessory when cussing out a sworn enemy.
4. If you're going to be arrested, make sure you do it in a ball gown.
5. Know how to work a hat -— no matter how ridiculous it looks.
7. And don't forget the matching fur hat.
Basically, at all times you should like an extra from Doctor Zhivago.
Lara Antipov, eat your heart out.