1. You should always know the power of the shoulder pad!
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Remember: The bigger the shoulder pad, the closer to God.
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2. Nothing says "I will destroy your company and sleep with your husband," like shoulder wings.
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3. An Italian cigarette makes the best accessory when cussing out a sworn enemy.
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4. If you're going to be arrested, make sure you do it in a ball gown.
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Jeans are for TRASH.
5. Know how to work a hat -— no matter how ridiculous it looks.
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Paramount
6. When it comes to fur, you should be giving Cruella de Ville a run for her money.
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7. And don't forget the matching fur hat.
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Basically, at all times you should like an extra from Doctor Zhivago.
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Lara Antipov, eat your heart out.
8. Also, your lingerie should be covered in fur too...
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9. ...or, at the very least, feathers.
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10. There is no such thing as too many accessories...
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11. ...or too much sparkle!
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Yes, you want to look like a figure skater.
12. When in doubt add some ruffles to your dress...
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ABC Television
ABC Television
13. ...or weird embroidery. This is the best way to confuse your sworn enemies with glamour.
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14. This is the only way you should look when taking a nap:
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Sweatpants are for TRASH.
15. Nothing adds more drama than a veil.
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ABC Television Group
NOTHING!
ABC Television Group
16. Just because you're laid up in the hospital doesn't mean you can slouch on the glamour.
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17. And this is especially true of bathtubs.
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Perfectly made up hair and makeup? Check.
18. There is nothing more glamorous than gold lamé.
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19. But the most important style tip: Always look fabulous, even when you're getting slapped.
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