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12 Ways To Get A Girl To Go Out With You

“Can I buy you a drink?” “No.”

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3. Follow her home and deliver her a pizza

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If you see a girl you like, follow her until she goes home. Once you know where she lives, go to the nearest pizza place and buy one large pizza. You might be a stalker, but you have pizza.

5. Pretend you're a secret agent and you need her help

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If she’s alone hurriedly sit at her table, maybe jump in her car/taxi, or just start walking with her and hold her hand. Explain to her you’re being followed by very dangerous people and she needs to act natural. Bonus points if you have a motorcycle and bag presumably filled with money or the secret formula for saving the human race. She might freak out and/or punch you in the face for being so invasive OR it might be totally awesome.

6. Ask her if she wants to go out for some caramels

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Preface by telling your friends: “I gotta go see about a girl.” Caramels are just as arbitrary as coffee and if she doesn’t get the reference it’s not your fault.

If you got all 3 references, A+. If you still don’t know what I’m talking about, stop reading now and take 2 hours and 6 minutes out of your day to watch one of the best movies ever made.

8. Gather up your acapella buddies and serenade her

View this video on YouTube

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Bonus points if you have flowers.

10. Look her up and down and say “How you doin’?”

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WARNING: If she hasn’t seen Friends she will think you are extremely creepy. (But she hasn’t seen Friends, so it wouldn’t work out anyway)

11. Call her name, hand her a rose and ask if she will accept it

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If she accepts, go on an extremely extravagant first date (e.g. helicopter ride over the city, go to a recording studio to be serenaded by Seal, ride a gondola in Venice) and share way more about your life story than you would in any normal first date circumstance.

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