Do you love a good word? Do you compare finding words in a crossword to the thrill of jumping out of an aeroplane? If so maybe you have a word addiction, don't worry you aren't alone, we can fight this problem together.
Now I'm a pretty chilled guy, I don't do drugs, I don't prostitute myself for money and I hardly drink but maybe my lack of addictive past times has built up and opened the door for one with the ability to ruin my life, I am of course talking about the addiction to compelling and intellectual words, the need to reiterate a statement multiple times purely with the mindset of unchaining yourself from the shackles of colloquial Australian slang. My affable, apolaustic, audacity is accented by my appartion to ameliorate allowing all Australians the ability to applaud aloud. While the last sentence may have been confusing to most, too some it mirrors a hot shower on a cold morning, it was the literary equivalent to rolling a joint and opening a bag of Cheezles or a funny tasting drink and Bill Cosby. My point being somewhere along the way Australians have lost the urge to impress with their language, so much so that the word 'apolaustic' is not recognised by the autocorrect in my computer, it of course means 'devoted to enjoyment' but this is obviously wrong because Apple never make mistakes and they are our true leaders therefore if their product says it isn't a word it definitely isn't , long live Apple.Now while I am extremely hypocritical in my unwavering abuse of Australian Culture I would like to be apart of the motion to fix our ongoing cacology. Just like the great Martin Luther King I also have a dream, I actually have a couple the first is to be able to fly, this is of course ridiculous and why I am not pursing it with full intent ,call me on 13 00 67 if you can help me fly none the less the second is the same as John Keating the unorthodox English teacher portrayed by the great Robin Williams in the legendary film The dead Poets Society. I dream of every single Australian seizing the moment and utilising the depths of their brains in a pursuit to impress and intimated their fellow peers with unnecessary ,facetious and fantastical words.Am I insane for thinking that everyone well change their speaking habits to awaken the original communicational art? Perhaps, but luckily I'm insane for many reasons so this is just another one added to the list and therefore doesn't hold as much weight on my sanity tipping scale. None the less I bid you adieu but not without one final attempt, not really an attempt as such as a plead, please for the sake of the english language aim to learn a new word each day , aim to use correct grammar and most importantly " avoid using the word 'very' because it's lazy. A man is not very tired, he is exhausted. Don't use very sad, use morose. Language was invented for one reason, boys - to woo women - and, in that endeavor, laziness will not do. " ― N.H. Kleinbaum, Dead Poets Society.