An Open Letter From A Stalker

I think this will really seal the deal…

1. An Open Letter From A Stalker

To the person i saw that one time who looked vaguely familiar,

Hey. Remember that time i saw you at that one place? You looked vaguely familiar. Where do I know you from? The free clinic? My weekly quilting club? That one place that sells that stuff I like? I felt we had a connection even though I’m sure you were purposely avoiding my stare as I stalked you around the place. I like to think you were just being coy.
Then I saw you again at that other place we both like to go! I knew our love to be true when you left as soon as you saw me. We would be a good match, like peanut butter and kittens or machetes and prostitutes. We already have stories for the grandkids like that one time I saw you and thought you looked familiar. Remember that? Aw….memories!
So next time our paths cross, avoid me at all costs; that’s how I’ll know you love me too. I also noticed you looked a little dumb so don’t ever talk to me or the magic will be lost.

Love you forever (or until I find someone better to stalk),

Me

PS…Do you like knives?

Check out more articles on BuzzFeed.com!

This post was created by a user and has not been vetted or endorsed by BuzzFeed's editorial staff. BuzzFeed Community is a place where anyone can post awesome lists and creations. Learn more or post your buzz!

 
  Your Reaction?
 

    Hot Buzz

    Spectacular Pictures From 50 Years Of Notting Hill Carnival

    Which “Scrubs” Character Are You?

    quiz

    Now Buzzing