18 Quintessentially Australian Yarns You Need To Know About

Anyone gotta yarn?

Australians love a good yarn – from viral news to big time investigations, our nation is built on monumental stories.

To showcase the rich range of storytelling that blesses our beloved land – and celebrate the launch of our new social presence @BuzzFeedYarns – here are 18 cracker yarns from the last century that are uniquely Australian.

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Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander people are warned that this article contains images of deceased people.

1. Corey Worthington's big house party.

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Nine News billed it as the "real life Risky Business", and the fallout from Australian teenager Corey Worthington's house party was quite something.

The party, conducted before internet virality was the norm, and held while Worthington's parents were out of town, caused $20,000 in damage after 500 people arrived. Police helicopters and the dog squad were called in to deal with the chaos.

Worthington's post-party media tour included his famous altercation with A Current Affair host Leila McKinnon.

The teenager's insistence that he wouldn't remove his sunglasses ("nah I'll leave these on, I like them") became a classic in a pre-social media quotables and is just one of the great lines. "I'll say sorry but I'm not taking off my glasses," is another. "Because...they're famous. Everyone likes them...so I'm not taking them off."

When asked what his parents thought of the whole thing, Worthington said: "I haven't really talked to them because every time they call I don't answer."

Worthington also had this message for any kids planning on hosting their own house party: "Get me to do it for you."

2. The disappearance of Harold Holt

National Archives Of Australia / PR IMAGE

On December 17, 1967 Australian prime minister Harold Holt vanished while swimming at Cheviot Beach in Victoria. His body was never found. An official report found the death to be accidental. People who were with Holt on the day described the surf as "very rough", but that hasn't stopped multiple conspiracies from brewing.

Two of the many rumours about Holt since his mysterious disappearance were that he was a Chinese spy who had been collected by a submarine, and that he was assassinated. More than 50 years after he went missing, the official line about what happened to Harold Holt has never changed.

3. The Moonlight State.

ABC

ABC reporter Chris Masters' 1978 story outlining rampant corruption among Queensland police prompted a judicial inquiry, the jailing of a police commissioner, and a huge shake up in Queensland politics.

Masters' "Moonlight State" report on Four Corners has been named a defining moment in Queensland's history and the resulting Fitzgerald Inquiry heard from 339 witnesses.

In 2017, it was revealed that the Australian Federal Police discreetly put resources into keeping Masters safe as it realised he was not just onto a big story, but in serious danger.

4. The Coogee Bay Hotel ice-cream poo fiasco

Sydney Morning Herald

In 2008 a pub on the shores of Coogee Beach in Sydney, New South Wales, was forced to apologise and pay a $50,000 settlement to Steve and Jessica Whyte, who claimed the hotel had served them ice-cream containing "foul-smelling brown matter".

The settlement meant there was no further legal action, but the incident (and this headline) have gone down in history.

5. I was Russell Crowe's stooge.

tenor.com

In 2006 Jack Marx picked up a Walkley Award for his long form gonzo-esque tale recounting the relationship he built and then watched slide away with then Hollywood A-lister Russell Crowe.

"I Was Russell Crowe's Stooge" reveals in detail how the world of PR and media relations work, especially when it comes to celebrities.

6. "From Little Things Big Things Grow": the story of Vincent Lingiari.

Creative Commons

Vincent Lingiari was an Aboriginal activist whose long fight for land rights for Indigenous Australians was immortalised in Paul Kelly's song "From Little Things Big Things Grow".

Aboriginal land was invaded and forcibly taken by British settlers throughout the 1800s, with would-be farmers seeking to exploit the large areas of land Indigenous people had called home for millennia.

In 1966 Vincent Lingiari was working on a cattle station in the Northern Territory. Lingiari, a Gurindji man, led a strike as a protest against work conditions.

This initially small strike rolled into an eight-year fight to reclaim stolen land. In 1975, prime minister Gough Whitlam poured sand from Gurindji land into Lingiari's hands.

A year later came the monumental Aboriginal Land Rights (Northern Territory) Act, giving Indigenous Australians freehold title to their traditional land, as well as the power to negotiate any development on their land, including compensation.

Over time, Paul Kelly's "From Little Thing Big Things Grow" has been used as an anthem for union rights and activism, and to promote superannuation.

7. "The dingo ate my baby"

Channel 9 / PR IMAGE

The death of Azaria Chamberlain has captured the imagination of the Australian public since it was first reported on in 1980.

Chamberlain died in the Northern Territory when she was taken from the family tent by a dingo. At the time, authorities didn't believe Azaria's mother, Lindy, and she was charged with, and later found guilty of, murder. She was sent to jail until a part of her daughter's jacket was found in 1986. Following a royal commission, a coroner found that Azaria's death came after she was attacked and taken by a dingo.

The phrase "a dingo ate my baby" has become a part of Australian and global pop culture. It's a riff on a line – "The dingo took my baby!" – delivered by Meryl Streep as Lindy Chamberlain in the film Evil Angels.

8. Feral pig steals beers, gets drunk, fights a cow and destroys a campsite.

northernstar.com.au

A feral pig got its snout into multiple six-packs of beer when it raided a campsite in Western Australia in 2008.

Soon after, the pig started a fight with a cow and then rummaged through bin bags.

It was a shortlived rampage, however, as the porker proceeded to swim into a river before collapsing drunk under a tree and falling asleep. It's estimated the pig drank 18 beers.

Images of the pig and gleeful headlines about it seem to go viral every month.

9. The Essendon Bombers drugs scandal

Joe Castro / AAPIMAGE

AFL is the most madly followed sport in Australia, and the doping scandal that rocked the Essendon Bombers Football Club could be the biggest yarn in its history.

The club reported itself to the AFL in 2013 with concerns about its supplements program — two days later, a 12-month investigation by the Australian Crime Commission into drugs in sport was released and referenced Essendon's program.

Thirty-four Essendon players were suspended for two years after it was found they had been using a banned supplement. James Hird, the coach of the team, was suspended for 12 months, and sports scientist Stephen Dank received a lifetime ban from the AFL.

10. Schapelle Corby

Mick Tsikas / AAPIMAGE

Schapelle Corby served nine years of a 20-year sentence in a Balinese prison after she was convicted of attempting to import over four kilos of cannabis into Indonesia. Her story, her family, and her claims that she was the victim of someone planting the drugs in her bodyboard bag have become immortalised in Australian folklore.

A television movie and plenty of news specials have been dedicated to the Gold Coast woman, who appealed her conviction multiple times before ultimately being released in May 2017.

Her release was a huge story involving media scrums and car chases.

11. Cliff Young, Australia's shuffling marathon champion

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Cliff Young was a Victorian potato farmer whose signature "shuffling" style of running enthralled Australia during the inaugural Sydney to Melbourne ultramarathon in 1983.

Young won the 875km race when he was 61-years-old, showing up to compete in gumboots and overalls and without his dentures (he said they rattled when he ran). Young barely slept and ran at a slow pace for five days – while other athletes were resting and sleeping, he was shuffling.

Receiving $10,000 for his victory, Young said he felt bad accepting the prize and instead split the money between the other competitors, keeping none of it for himself.

12. "Mao's Last Dancer."

Great Scott Productions

Many younger Australians would know the story of "Mao's Last Dancer" after it earned a place in the nation's school curriculum.

The autobiography tells the story of Chinese-Australian Li Cunxin, a peasant boy living in Maoist China who was selected by Madame Mao's cultural delegates to study ballet.

Li went on to become a star in the West and danced with some of the world's most famous ballet companies. The best-selling book was made into a film in 2009.

13. Red Dog.

Woss Group

Most people know about Red Dog from the 2011 movie of the same name, but the true story it was based on has been told since the '70s.

Red dog was a nomadic kelpie cross who had a series of "owners" as he travelled about Western Australia's Pilbara region, striking up relationships with people from all over the state. Red was given an account with the Bank of NSW and was a member of the Dampier Salts Sport and Social Club.

A compilation of stories and poems written about Red and the mischief he got up to was published in 1983.

14. The Tamam Shud Case

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Public Domain

In 1948 the body of an unidentified man was found dead on Somerton Beach, South Australia, with the words Tamam Shud ("finished" or "ended" in Persian) printed on a piece of paper in his pocket.

Detectives were able to locate the book the page was ripped from and found indentations of a local telephone number and an encrypted message that has never been deciphered.

No-one knows who the man is, and the case remains one of Australia's biggest mysteries.

15. John Howard DJs like a mad cunt

jocelyn @jocelynseip

im doing my assignment on this

05:34 AM - 03 Aug 2015

"Howard DJs Like A Mad Cunt" is probably one of Australia's most iconic memes. It's also something that – due to its appearance well before the rise of social media – was always attributed to an anonymous source.

However, a lengthy BuzzFeed News investigation, which included multiple trips to the State Library, discovered that the creator of the fantastic meme was an Australian dude named Matt Adams. Unfortunately, he doesn't know where the original version is.

16. The story of Rod Ansell.

Rimfire Films

The name Rod Ansell probably doesn't ring too many bells, but the fictional character based on him just might: Crocodile Dundee.

Ansell was a cattle grazier in Australia who survived for 56 days in the Australian bush while stranded with few supplies. Paul Hogan heard about Ansell's story and was inspired to create Crocodile Dundee.

17. The Great Emu War

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Australia's Great Emu War actually happened, and Australia lost to a bunch of birds.

In late 1932 there was concern that parts of Western Australia had too many emus. The military and local farmers were called in to manage the wildlife nuisance. Ten-thousand rounds of ammunition were used in the cull.

Unfortunately for the humans (and fortunately for the emus) multiple attempts to stop emus destroying crops were ultimately futile, and authorities moved towards a more successful form of emu control: fencing.

18. Chk Chk Boom.

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It was 2009 and Clare Werbeloff, a 19-year-old out for the night in Sydney's then vibrant Kings Cross, said she had just witnessed a shooting.

"There were these two wogs fighting and the fatter wog said to the skinnier wog 'Oi bro you slept with my cousin' aye?" she told a local news crew in a slightly racist manner.

"...and then they pulled out a gun and just went 'chk chk boom'."

Werbeloff's vox pop quickly went viral, resulting in radio remixes, hundreds of thousands of views on YouTube, and all sorts of merch. The only problem? She hadn't seen a thing. It was all made up.

There are now more remixes of Werbeloff's "chk chk boom" comments than worth counting. Some have thousands of views and some have a dozen.