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    Posted on 3 Mar 2015

    An Open Letter To All The Idiots Still Leaving Voicemails

    Hi Mom.

    Dear people who still leave voicemails:

    SONY

    Are you fucking insane?

    It's 2015. The Earth isn't flat, communism is a nice idea but it just doesn't work in practice, and VOICEMAILS ARE FUCKING STUPID.

    DO YOU ENJOY WASTING PEOPLE'S TIME?

    DO YOU KNOW ABOUT TEXT MESSAGES?!

    OR TWITTER???

    OR FACEBOOK?!?????!!?!?!

    This is me, at my desk, listening to your goddamn voicemails.

    In this modern world, there is no TIME for voicemails.

    Comedy Channel

    Hardly anyone even CALLS anymore. Let alone LEAVES A VOICEMAIL.

    imgur.com

    Take the time to write it down and text it to me god dammit.

    The fact is, there is a dark truth behind every STUPID, NO-GOOD VOICEMAIL you leave.

    imgur.com

    You're just an icon. You're just a little red dot on my phone's screen. And I eliminate that dot. I get rid of it good.

    Do you SERIOUSLY think people listen to what you have to say? Do you think they take the extra steps to listen up?

    Paramount / imgur.com

    Seriously?

    E!

    Well, sorry. You need to WAKE. THE FUCK. UP.

    Dog Eat Dog Productions

    So, for the love of god, stop the voicemails.

    AND PLLLEEEAAASEEEE step forth into the 21st century and STOP. LEAVING. VOICEMAILS.

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