An Open Letter To All The Idiots Still Leaving Voicemails

Hi Mom.

Dear people who still leave voicemails:

SONY

Are you fucking insane?

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It's 2015. The Earth isn't flat, communism is a nice idea but it just doesn't work in practice, and VOICEMAILS ARE FUCKING STUPID.

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DO YOU ENJOY WASTING PEOPLE'S TIME?

hellogiggles.com

DO YOU KNOW ABOUT TEXT MESSAGES?!

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OR TWITTER???

whattheyshouldcallartschool.tumblr.com

OR FACEBOOK?!?????!!?!?!

dreamyflareon.tumblr.com

This is me, at my desk, listening to your goddamn voicemails.

mashable.com

In this modern world, there is no TIME for voicemails.

Comedy Channel

Hardly anyone even CALLS anymore. Let alone LEAVES A VOICEMAIL.

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Take the time to write it down and text it to me god dammit.

The fact is, there is a dark truth behind every STUPID, NO-GOOD VOICEMAIL you leave.

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You're just an icon. You're just a little red dot on my phone's screen. And I eliminate that dot. I get rid of it good.

Do you SERIOUSLY think people listen to what you have to say? Do you think they take the extra steps to listen up?

Paramount / imgur.com

Seriously?

E!

Well, sorry. You need to WAKE. THE FUCK. UP.

Dog Eat Dog Productions

So, for the love of god, stop the voicemails.

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AND PLLLEEEAAASEEEE step forth into the 21st century and STOP. LEAVING. VOICEMAILS.

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