1. You've spent a lot of time (both drunk and sober) on the L90.
2. Which means you know about Muzza.
3. You're used to seeing gluten free menu items at ridiculous prices.
4. And you're used to (generally) paying more for things.
5. You know Dee Why is like the Florida of the Northern Beaches.
6. And you remember when Saturday nights at the Dee Why Hotel were a thing for like four months in 2010.
7. Also you know the traffic through Dee Why is always shit, all the time, often for no reason at all.
8. You remember this:
9. You were used to seeing Tony Abbott's face well before he became Prime Minister.
10. When you first turned 18 you probably spent one of your first nights out at Mona.
11. Lucky's & Pep's is your local pizza joint.
12. But you miss when there were more than two Mimmo's.
13. And on Thursdays $5 pizzas at The Arms is where it's at!
14. If you didn't go to Freshwater half your friends probably left to go there in Year 10.
15. You know that no matter what the map says, Terrey Hills/Belrose/Davidson aren't the Northern Beaches.
16. Whale Beach is a far off place that you probably can't afford. But it's nice.
17. And you know Palm Beach for more than Home & Away.
18. In fact, you probably have more than a few friends who are extras on the show.
19. You know to go to the smaller beaches like Bilgola.
20. You know the legend of the Wakehurst Parkway ghost.
21. You know your way around Par3 in Terrey Hills.
22. And you were super sad when you thought Pirates Mini Golf was closing.
23. You've been to Terrey Hills Tavern because there's basically nothing else to do.
24. And if you're a girl (or guy idk) you've probably been catcalled by that kebab shop guy with the flute in Manly.
25. Unfortunately you also know that you're not really near any university.
26. You know that the *original* Biggest Loser house was in Terrey Hills.
27. You know Warringah Mall wasn't always "Westfield Warringah Mall."
28. You know who this is talking about.
29. You remember Hogs Breath Warriewood.
There was a waiter there called Harry and he was always so nice and happy and he had "Harry Potter" on his name tag. He just seemed like a generally nice person. If you are reading this Harry, I thank you for your service.