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Not Content With Stealing The Flat White, Starbucks Adds Pumpkin

Ho ho fuckin' ho.

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At the beginning of this year Starbucks announced it would be introducing the much-loved Australian/New Zealand creation, the flat white, to America.

Bolder than a latte. Meet the new #FlatWhite.

And now they're stepping it up a notch, by introducing the Pumpkin Flat White™.

Apparently, this new monstrous creation is "less sugary" than the Pumpkin Spice latte. Which, like... OK?
imgur.com

Apparently, this new monstrous creation is "less sugary" than the Pumpkin Spice latte. Which, like... OK?

The official name of the drink is the Holiday Spice Flat White. But everyone knows what it really is: an attempt at a flat white with some pumpkin shit added in.

Nothing warms the heart like the holidays, so we created a drink that tastes like them. #HolidaySpiceFlatWhite

Reviews have been... mixed.

White as fuck but true: holiday flat white is better than a pumpkin spice latte.

Holiday Pumpkin Spice Flat White? No.

The holiday spice flat white is literally just like a pumpkin spice latte???????? The fuck you tryna kid Starbucks??????????

I rarely post selfies, but here's me picking up a pumpkin spice flat white at a @starbucks in Boston

The new pumpkin flat white is the absolute best drink at Starbucks right now!

pumpkin flat white is a disappointment 2/5 stars :(((

"It tastes like a spicy liquid pumpkin pie or something," - @MarkIronsMusic's expert analysis of my @Starbucks Holiday Spice Flat White

Dear America: please stop.

Warner Bros