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Why Does Everyone Keep Shitting Their Pants On Cruise Ships?

A disturbing trend.

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Just today, a cruise ship pulled into Melbourne only to let the rest of us land-dwelling folk know that a bunch of people on board were just plain shitting themselves.


In February, a spokesperson for P&O cruises told that passengers had a one in 12,000 chance of contracting gastro, which seems odd given, y'know, the amount of people on cruise ships getting gastro.

2016 has been a spectacular year for gastro in Australia, with three reported cases in three months since the turn of the year.


Professor of infectious disease control at the University of NSW, Mary-Louise McLaws, told Fairfax viruses such as norovirus, a common viral bug, spread easily on "captive communities" like daycares and cruise ships.

"You've got to have very, very good environmental cleaning in any toilets that are shared, and any surfaces where you are eating and preparing food," she said.

"You're really at the mercy of the cruise ship and the staff to ensure that they are cleaning the environment for you."

Perhaps it's just that Australians are really good at shitting themselves, or maybe its a hygiene issues - which is much more likely and boring. The real issue, however, is why people keep getting on the poop-decks of these rampant diarrhea vessels.