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Why Does Everyone Keep Shitting Their Pants On Cruise Ships?

A disturbing trend.

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Whatever your intention is when getting on a cruise ship, one thing's certain: you will shit your pants.


It's a thing that's been happening for a while. People get on a cruise ship. People enjoy the cruise ship. People eat, drink, and be merry. People shit... A lot.

Just today, a cruise ship pulled into Melbourne only to let the rest of us land-dwelling folk know that a bunch of people on board were just plain shitting themselves.

It's fuckin' true, guys. Channel 9 reports up to 300 people are shitting sideways after getting on the cruise.

It's fuckin' true, guys. Channel 9 reports up to 300 people are shitting sideways after getting on the cruise.

But that isn't an isolated incident. In February more than 150 passengers got the shit-yourself-sickness, as well as crew. Now that just doesn't sound all that swell.

Here's another one:

And another one!

Sure, the idea of a jolly cruise along the ocean might seem nice, but consider this: nothing is nice when you spend 20 hours of your day shitting sideways in the shower.

In February, a spokesperson for P&O cruises told that passengers had a one in 12,000 chance of contracting gastro, which seems odd given, y'know, the amount of people on cruise ships getting gastro.

2016 has been a spectacular year for gastro in Australia, with three reported cases in three months since the turn of the year.

Professor of infectious disease control at the University of NSW, Mary-Louise McLaws, told Fairfax viruses such as norovirus, a common viral bug, spread easily on "captive communities" like daycares and cruise ships.

"You've got to have very, very good environmental cleaning in any toilets that are shared, and any surfaces where you are eating and preparing food," she said.

"You're really at the mercy of the cruise ship and the staff to ensure that they are cleaning the environment for you."

Perhaps it's just that Australians are really good at shitting themselves, or maybe its a hygiene issues - which is much more likely and boring. The real issue, however, is why people keep getting on the poop-decks of these rampant diarrhea vessels.

Whatever the case, shitting yourself on a cruise ship is shaping up to be one of the hottest trends of 2016.