Whatever your intention is when getting on a cruise ship, one thing's certain: you will shit your pants.
It's a thing that's been happening for a while. People get on a cruise ship. People enjoy the cruise ship. People eat, drink, and be merry. People shit... A lot.
Just today, a cruise ship pulled into Melbourne only to let the rest of us land-dwelling folk know that a bunch of people on board were just plain shitting themselves.
But that isn't an isolated incident. In February more than 150 passengers got the shit-yourself-sickness, as well as crew. Now that just doesn't sound all that swell.
Here's another one:
And another one!
Sure, the idea of a jolly cruise along the ocean might seem nice, but consider this: nothing is nice when you spend 20 hours of your day shitting sideways in the shower.
In February, a spokesperson for P&O cruises told news.com.au that passengers had a one in 12,000 chance of contracting gastro, which seems odd given, y'know, the amount of people on cruise ships getting gastro.
2016 has been a spectacular year for gastro in Australia, with three reported cases in three months since the turn of the year.
Professor of infectious disease control at the University of NSW, Mary-Louise McLaws, told Fairfax viruses such as norovirus, a common viral bug, spread easily on "captive communities" like daycares and cruise ships.
Perhaps it's just that Australians are really good at shitting themselves, or maybe its a hygiene issues - which is much more likely and boring. The real issue, however, is why people keep getting on the poop-decks of these rampant diarrhea vessels.
Whatever the case, shitting yourself on a cruise ship is shaping up to be one of the hottest trends of 2016.
