25 Stages Of Driving Through Sydney In Peak Hour

    Ha ha ha I want to die.

    1. It's morning and you drive through a few streets with little to no traffic. Passing a school, all is well. You think maybe today will be different. Maybe there won't be traffic today.

    2. As you come round a corner you realise how wrong you are.

    3. You reason with yourself. "This is fine," you say. "I can handle this."

    4. Traffic lines up so far you can't even see where it ends. You settle into your car seat, hoping to stay comfortable for your possible hour-long commute.

    5. Again, you try to remain calm. This does, after all, happen EVERY DAY.

    6. The person in front of you is leaving a large amount of space between themselves and the car in front. You get irrationally angry about this.

    7. You merge into the right lane, creating more congestion and slowing down the already walking-pace traffic, so that you can get a look at who this person is.

    8. Of course, as you reach your angriest, you pull up next to them and notice that they're an elderly person or something. So now not only are you stuck in traffic, but you also feel awful.

    9. You stop at a red light and OF COURSE someone has pushed their luck and they are now stuck in the middle of the intersection, blocking traffic both ways.

    10. You hear a song that you really want to sing along to but can't because, like, you're in traffic right next to a bunch of other cars and you didn't invest in that higher grade window tint like you should have.

    11. A motorbike darts through traffic like it's nothing. This also upsets you. Why didn't you get a motorbike?

    12. Someone tries to merge into your lane. You contemplate cutting them off, but you're better than that. You can be nice. Karma is key. So you let them drive through.

    13. But THEY DON'T WAVE.

    14. And then about three or four cars also push through.

    15. This isn't fair, what happened to karma?

    16. You're about 20 minutes through the traffic now and you think everything is going to get better. It's all picking up.

    17. But then you see an NRMA van or something trying to push its way through, lights blazing, and you know the morning is only going to get longer.

    18. Sure enough, someone has broken down. And they're IN. YOUR. LANE.

    19. So you merge over and no one is happy and neither are you and it's just no fun.

    20. You've been in your car so long that you start getting hungry again.

    21. And the breakfast radio show is beginning to wind down.

    22. The traffic is finally picking up - you can finally get to work!

    23. You realise that the end result of all this traffic is work.

    24. But, you manage to arrive safe and you're so happy to get out of the car you don't even mind.

    25. But then you remember you have to do it all over again in eight hours.