1. Australia has many things: beaches, nice weather, and STINGRAYS WITH TWO GODDAMN HEADS.
2. It also has lovely HORSESHOE CRABS ON THE BEACHES, swarming and waiting to destroy you.
3. Our caterpillars look like actual demons from American Horror Story.
4. And our spiders like to make lovely, welcoming nests ALL OVER OUR FARMS.
5. They'll do anything to save their HUNDREDS OF CHILDREN!
6. Don't worry about it though, because there's nothing in Australia that is completely invisible and deadly and that might cause you a lot of pain.
7. And the weather isn't that bad.
8. Sure, you might get your normal, everyday SNOTTY JELLYFISH.
9. But really it's not that bad – the flies help clean it all up!
10. This is just, y'know, TWO DAYS' WORTH OF THE SUCKERS.
11. Sometimes, you can find people just bench-pressing a goose.
12. Sometimes, a bunch of bugs make a pole their new home.
13. And other times, well... The bluebottles come out to play.
14. Why don't you try a nice, relaxing round of golf?
15. Or go for a swim? It can't be that bad.
16. That awful catfish infestation has finally been dealt with...
17. And we've got a crew on permanent lookout to keep everything safe.
18. This lovely nest of spitfire caterpillars is just hatching to say hello!
19. OK, OK, OK, so there might be a few bad things hiding beneath the surface...
20. But it's really all normal Down Under.
Australia: a whole lot of WTF.
The creatures in No. 13 are bluebottles or Portuguese man o' war, which are classified as siphonophores (colonies of individual organisms). A previous version of this post identified them as jellyfish, which siphonophores often resemble. Oops — it'd still be terrifying to stumble across that many of them on a beach!