Johnny Depp and Amber Heard have filmed a video apology to Australia following their trial today, which saw Heard sentenced with a $1,000 one-month good behaviour bond for smuggling her dogs into Australia last year.
In probably the biggest own in Australian history, Australia's deputy prime minister, Barnaby Joyce, uploaded footage to his Facebook showing Heard and Depp lauding the great nation of Australia.
"Australia is a wonderful island," begins Heard, "with a treasure trove of unique plants, animals, and people."
"Australia is free of many pests and diseases that are commonplace throughout the world," says Heard. "That is why Australia has to have such strong biosecurity laws."
"Australians are just as unique, both warm and direct," murmurs Depp. "When you disrespect Australian law they will tell you firmly."
"I am really sorry that Pistol and Boo were not declared. Protecting Australia is important."
Twitter was quick to react to the absolutely brutal public humiliation.
Celebrities, take note: If you break our nation's great laws, we will humiliate you in ways previously unthought of.