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19 Reasons It Doesn't Matter How Good Ryan Gosling's Directorial Debut Is

Gosling's first film on the other side of the camera isn't getting great reviews. BUT THAT DOESN'T MATTER AT ALL.

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1. "It is colossally indulgent, shapeless, often fantastically and unthinkingly offensive and at all times insufferably conceited. " - Peter Bradshaw

2. DOESN'T MATTER.

3. "...a risible slab of Detroit gothic that marks an altogether inauspicious writing-directing debut for Ryan Gosling." - Justin Chang

Carousel Productions

4. DOESN'T MATTER.

5. "Ryan Gosling’s directorial debut, "Lost River," is the most enthusiastically derided entry so far at this year’s Cannes Film Festival" - - Richard Corliss

7. "The whole project has the smell of called-in favours." - Robbie Collin

Carousel Productions

8. WHO CARES?!

9. "Gosling’s original screenplay spins on relatively opaque characters." - Todd McCarthy

Sidney Kimmel Entertainment
Sidney Kimmel Entertainment
Sidney Kimmel Entertainment

10. SO?!?!

11. ""Lost River" offers up a sad and broken view of a sad and broken place..." - Drew McWeeny

Sidney Kimmel Entertainment

12. MEHHHHHHHH

13. "The film is ultimately kind of juvenile and dumb, and there are more moments where you'll roll your eyes rather than inwardly applauding." - Oliver Lyttelton

15. "Ryan Gosling’s heavily-hyped directorial debut turns out to be an over-cooked affair that lacks much needed wit and humour to go alongside its self-aware art intentions." - Mark Adams

16. HAHAHA SO WHAT?!?!

17. "This snazzy but forgettable vanity project" - Eric Kohn

19. IT DON'T MATTER but if you're REALLY bothered by the reviews then just...