1. Of course some places have more life in than others…
Swanage pier museum has no budget, and possibly a serial killer working for them.
2. Not everyone is sure what the word ‘pleasure’ means
This is Weymouth Commercial and Pleasure Pier, it has no shops, and…
3. Sometimes the fast food joints have a confusing message
A vegetarian battered sausage, advertising something near Southsea’s Clarence Pier (which barely stops hugging the shore, so might not even be a real pier).
4. In fact, the humanising of food promotion is odd everywhere…
5. Smile production has all but ceased in Cleethorpes
These days we import grins from China.
6. Everyone likes these things…
…but no-one knows what they’re called. The French call them tintamarresques, we English ‘seaside face-in-the-hole boards’ — rubbish.
7. Danger lurks everywhere
In Whitby guns don’t kill people, badgers kill people.
8. Composition is everything
Even the most dramatic skyline can be ruined by a bin. Goddammit.
9. Official character licensing hasn’t reached Bournemouth
Thomas the Soul Engine. The tank engine with the face of a haunted baby.
10. Tribute act are a different thing to look-a-like acts
Maybe this venue just has poor lighting.
11. Great Yarmouth is a little, erm, ‘behind the times’
Apparently, they’re called “gollys” now and everybody is fine with that. Hmmm…
12. It’s not just the UK, even history is odder than you thought
In the thirties women kept lizard monkey hybrids as pets, maybe that’s why they stopped drinking.
14. Read about our two weeks by the seaside, and the seaside, and the seaside, and the seaside…
Pier Review: A Road Trip in Search of the Great British Seaside - is available now…
“Peerless” - Danny Wallace
“Humour, nostalgia and a certain landlocked romanticism run through this coastal odyssey. Pier Review is an engaging and highly revealing sideways look at Britain from the margins.” - Catherine O’Flynn
“I don’t think I read books anymore, but if I did, I think this is the sort of book that I would read” - Bill Drummond
This post was created by a user and has not been vetted or endorsed by BuzzFeed's editorial staff. BuzzFeed Community is a place where anyone can post awesome lists and creations. Learn more or post your buzz!
- Immigrants are worried two government memos are laying the groundwork for the deportation force Trump promised on the campaign trail.
- A federal judge ruled that Texas can't cut Planned Parenthood out of its Medicaid program.
- According to the World Bank, a child born in 2014, on average, will live for more than 71 years.
- A 2-year-old boy lost a race at school after he spotted his dad and ran to hug him instead of crossing the finish line 👦💨💞