A lot of the time Customer Service in the world of sex toy websites is filled with questions such as "And what hole does that go in" or "I've got the Fist of Victory stuck and I can't get it out, what do I do?" as well as dodging the occasional phone-masturbator.
But once in a while a company will receive a email or letter explaining how happy a customer is with their butt plug, love ring or girthy monster and how their new bedroom buddy has saved their sex life or marriage. One customer went a few steps further; instead of a simple letter of thanks, 'Bob' wrote a wonderful poem explaining how Bondara had saved his sex life, and here is that wonderful poem:
To men of all ages, who are going insane,
As no-spring-chicken bloke myself, I really feel your pain.
I've been with my lovely wife for thirty years I brag,
But sadly action in the bedroom was starting to flag.
It's no ones fault, just one of those things,
And our love's still as strong as the day we exchanged wedding rings.
But we missed the early passion, when making love was not a chore,
Then I discovered "Bondara" and those magic days are back once more.
I still got aroused, but couldn't stay as firm for as long as I once could,
Call it age or stress, my willy's no longer powered by young blood.
But a quick online order has made it all so well,
And now my droopy erections are no longer hell.
A cock ring has allowed my semis to be firm,
And I'm now more like a viper than a floppy, wiggly worm.
It stays up and lasts longer, which is good for us both,
Sex is much nicer, with my extra hard growth.
I also bought a bullet vibe, for an extra bit of fun,
Pleasure shoots through my wife, if you'll pardon the pun.
"Bondara" has improved our sex life so much, we can't wait to both get bare,
I can't thank you enough, and I'd recommend you to all out there.
We're both quite shy, but once the toys were tried,
The embarrassment soon went, and we both enjoyed the ride.
The excitement is back, and so is the pleasure,
Now I really must buy a longer tape-measure!
We'll continue to be customers, your range is really vast,
Ordering is very easy, and delivery oh so fast.
What shall we buy next ... lingerie, aids or toys?
One thing's for sure, it's time to make more noise.
Thank you "Bondara" ... you are a sex life saver!
Such creativity and appreciation could not go unanswered, so Bondara penned their own reply to the wonderful poem:
To Bob, our dear customer, we had to retort,
When we first saw your e-mail was far from short,
Feedback like this is both novel and rare,
Like a fine summer's day, with no time to prepare.
Age maketh the man in the mind not the body,
In both the hair and the skin; just ask Bill Oddie.
The solutions we offer are appreciated by many,
and are always better value, even if just by a penny!
So rare, in fact, is feedback like yours,
It's been shared with our staff, on all of our floors,
In the warehouse they chuckled ''a job well done'',
reading back the yarn that you'd so kindly spun.
The marketing team stood in deep admiration,
Reciting the tales of re-found copulation,
Your wife, they cried, must be a fair lady,
As our sex toys, to her, no longer seem shady.
To the top, there's no limit for a poem like yours,
As IT and accounts led with rapturous applause,
And furthermore, it would be remiss,
Not to mention the laughs of our CEO; Chris!
Moral of the story: customer service isn't all that bad.
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