34 Thoughts All Reckless Shopaholics Can Relate To

...because Confessions of a Shopaholic was already taken, soz.

1. You never quite know whether you prefer shopping in real life, or online.

Because real life means legit trying on things.

Then again, it means leaving the house...

And having to present yourself to the outside world.

2. Trying on clothing in store, to find somebody else's grimy foundation stains, is a life struggle.

You curse every girl who goes shopping with make up on.

And inadvertently add more stains to the garment.

Because you're wearing a shit tonne of make up yourself.

3. WHY DOES LIGHTING IN CHANGING ROOMS ALWAYS MAKE YOU LOOK DIRE?!

4. ...waiting for parcels can be agonising.

But paying for next day delivery is a waste of money which can be spent... On more things!

Though it's all worth it, as nothing describes the feeling of getting your paws on a parcel.

5. You don't know whether to be relieved that you're saving money, or heartbroken, when you have to send things back.

And you don't even get the money back instantly to console yourself. :(

6. It's even worse when your size isn't available.

Legit piss take.

7. You wonder if you're destined for misery, because apparently people who spend more money on events are happier.

But then you remember; shopping brings you happiness!

8. You worry about sounding dumb for saying shopping is a hobby.

Even though it's actually more of a sport, thank you very much.

9. Instead of looking out of a bus window and contemplating life, you contemplate your latest purchases.

10. Anything purchased in sales can be justified.

Same as anything bought in Primark.

11. But also, buying anything expensive can be justified, as paying that much money means it's proper important.

12. This also means you don't know whether you'd rather spend the same amount of money buying multiple sale items, or just one kickass item.

13. You spend the entire year flexing your elbows in anticipation of the Boxing Day sales.

So you're ready to fight to the death.

Get out the way, Doris.

14. Often social networking will be neglected, to shop online.

15. Even checking emails can result in relapsing into a shopping spree.

As you've probably signed up to every newsletter under the sun, and 10% off with free delivery is to good to refuse a cheeky look.

16. Google auto fill is the best invention.

Because you really cba tiring out your fingers by typing your address and billing deets...

Again.

17. You find PayPal is actually your pal.

18. When you do go on Twitter and Facebook, it's hazardous.

As they're littered left, right and centre with sponsored ads...

That seem to know exactly what your fave clothing companies are!

Hello, Topshop.

19. Even when you have no disposable dollar, window shopping is still a torturous activity you decide to take part in.

Making saving for other things a struggle.

20. That feeling when somebody has the cheek to say you have too many clothes.

You immediately go on the defensive, and deny your evident problem.

THEY DON'T UNDERSTAND!

21. Meeting like minded people is essential.

Not only do you have endless garments to discuss, but also new friends to shop with!

22. Selling or giving away clothes, only to replace 'em, with brand new clothes!

Hence causing you to ask whether eBay can classify as a bffl.

...or a boyfriend.

23. There's no such thing as too many clothes.

24. Or shoes.

25. The first thing you do when invited to an event is ask yourself "Does this warrant a new outfit?"

FYI, the answer is usually yes.

26. When your make up runs out, and you have to battle as to whether to spend money on your brows, or cute new shoes...

Because you don't have the funds for both.

27. You actually feel proud when you resist buying something.

Even if you can't afford it, sigh.

Prouder still when you walk straight past your favourite store.

28. You can relate all too well to Confessions of a Shopaholic.

And the creepy ass debt collector guy, Derek, haunts your nightmares.

29. You also think about why *insert fave clothing brand here* hasn't made you an official promoter.

As after all, you are doing them a favour!

30. And why, oh why, is it only famous people that get sent free clothes?!

Totally not cool - when they actually afford stuff, and you can't!

It's tragic that you're not famous…

31. In fact, you often wonder why your habit hasn't been turned into a reality TV show.

32. Your bank balance is more effective than your friends telling you that you shop too much.

33. You begin to resent your dumb hobby, when your funds start to dwindle...

Even though you still don't (window) shop too much!!!!!

34. Yet you still have no bloody clue what to wear.

Making you want to hit the shops, all over AGAIN.