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It Seems The Entire USA Men's Basketball Olympic Team Has Called In Sick

Strained knees, bad ankles, long-term alien-discovery projects: everyone's bailing. Buzzfeed Sports has the scoop.

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It started with Dwight Howard, who dropped off the USA Basketball roster months before its scheduled gold-medal defense in London after back surgery. Then Dwyane Wade and Chris Bosh got banged up in the playoffs, and today Anthony Davis broke an ankle in what was unfortunately not the cool streetball sense of the term. And now, Buzzfeed Sports has learned, every single remaining player on the team has also dropped out, leaving USA men’s basketball honcho Jerry Colangelo standing sadly in his office wondering what he’s going to do with all the party-sized Snickers he bought for training camp. Below, what our insider sources say are the reasons for the other team members’ cancellations.

Kevin Love

Rick Bowmer / AP

Paralyzed with obsessive-compulsive fear that he at one point accidentally pronounced the “Negro” in “Vinny Del Negro” the racist way in front of a black person.

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