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11 Tips To Survive Indiana Winters

After years and years of dealing with Indiana winters, I've got a number of phenomenal tips to keep you safe this winter.

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1. If you're gonna be late to work, scrape your car window just enough to see barely out the front.

Or, if you're really desperate and already super late for work, just open up the window and stick your head out the side. You'll be just fine.
coolcaraircon.co.uk

Or, if you're really desperate and already super late for work, just open up the window and stick your head out the side. You'll be just fine.

2. Keep your thermostat at a balmy 80 degrees -- you don't have to wait 6 months to enjoy summer temperatures!

Also, why was my heating bill so expensive this month?
wordpress.com

Also, why was my heating bill so expensive this month?

3. With all of the snow coming through, there's gonna be some trouble starting your car. Sled to work in a canoe instead!

Extra points if you happen to drop your kids off at school AND take your dogs to the vet in the same quick slide down the hill!
wordpress.com

Extra points if you happen to drop your kids off at school AND take your dogs to the vet in the same quick slide down the hill!

4. Make sure to take your spear and knife on the way to work just in case you happen to encounter any mastodons or saber tooth tigers.

Things got a bit scary last time I drove through Elwood.
blogger.com

Things got a bit scary last time I drove through Elwood.

5. Also, it's time to catch up on your Inuit survival tactics. After being snowed in for three days, going out and hunting arctic animals in the blizzard doesn't sound that bad

When that Lake Effect snow rolls on through, you've gotta be prepared for the polar bear attack.
firstpeoplesofcanada.com

When that Lake Effect snow rolls on through, you've gotta be prepared for the polar bear attack.

6. Use the tennis racquets you bought last summer when you wanted to impress that guy/girl and use them as snowshoes

Ten points if you tape them up with electrical tape and wear sandals like in this picture.
hgdiy.com

Ten points if you tape them up with electrical tape and wear sandals like in this picture.

7. If there happens to be a huge snowstorm coming, run over to the store and buy as much food as possible. Make sure to look extremely panicked and try to destroy anything that happens to be in your path.

Hey, and make sure to buy me a few boxes of Fudge Rounds. Those are real good.
blogs.dallasobserver.com

Hey, and make sure to buy me a few boxes of Fudge Rounds. Those are real good.

8. If you ever get lost at night, look for clusters of brightly lit houses. Nobody takes down their Christmas lights in Indiana until March.

Just remember, those light-up deer aren't ACTUALLY alive.
static.guim.co.uk

Just remember, those light-up deer aren't ACTUALLY alive.

9. Become obsessed with local, warm food while keeping the past few winter months from being so bad..

Some say that local soup and sandwich joints have saved their life. Others say that they'll survive after seeing their friends at the restaurant.
wpbf.com

Some say that local soup and sandwich joints have saved their life. Others say that they'll survive after seeing their friends at the restaurant.

10. If you're the kind of person who sings Christmas carols until February (weirdo), you must stop by Santa's vacation home in Santa Claus, Indiana.

Rumor has it that the name of the town is the cause of the postmaster's prank back in the day. Worth it.
wordpress.com

Rumor has it that the name of the town is the cause of the postmaster's prank back in the day. Worth it.

11. You know what, just stay inside. It's not worth trying. Go back to bed.

Just give it a few more months of this madness: it'll be done soon.
dailyhop.com

Just give it a few more months of this madness: it'll be done soon.

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