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1. You're constantly getting hit in the groin.
2. You never dress your age...
3. ...and you don't look your age, either.
4. You think technology is out to get you...
5. ...and everyone's always after your lucky charms
6. (not to mention your sugar).
7. No one listens to you...
8. ...and no one's gay for you, either.
9. You have trouble making new friends...
10. ...and you're always getting left behind.
11. No one shares your taste in anything.
12. You're always making bad investments...
13. ...and you can never find the right size seed bell.
14. You're timing is always off.
15. But you don't like to make a fuss.
16. It seems like your life lacks meaning and purpose.
17. You're worried you'll end up alone...
18. ...because you're not a good date...
19. ...and you're afraid of how your kids will turn out.
20. Even though you know the eating of an orange is like a good marriage...
21. ...kissing you is like kissing a peanut.
22. You're more than a little accident prone behind the wheel...
23. ...both on the road...
24. ...and off the road...
25. ...and way, way off the road.
26. Nothing ever goes your way, does it?
27. Sometimes you just want to give up.
28. Everyone walks (or drives) all over you...
29. ...and someone's always stepping on your dreams.
30. But don't worry...
31. ...everyone underestimates you...
32. ...and one day, you'll get the last laugh!
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