21 Signs You’re A Medical Student

In case your enormous tuition payments weren’t enough of a clue.

1. You’ve diagnosed yourself with multiple sclerosis, Lyme disease, and/or hypothyroidism (to name a few).

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2. Your classmates have diagnosed you with a personality disorder.

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3. Your social life is on life-support.

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4. Technically, your last sexual partner was SimMan.®

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5. You have personal experience diagnosing and treating caffeine withdrawal.

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6. Your bedside manner still needs a little work.

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7. Your white coat is full of useless junk.

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8. Your student loans have their own student loans.

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9. Your clothes have been stained by someone else’s bodily fluids.

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10. You’re perpetually sleep-deprived.

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11. You’re on at least one nurse’s shit list.

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12. You’ve witnessed the miracle of childbirth firsthand.

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13. You can no longer read maps unless they were hand-drawn by Frank Netter.

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14. You’ve missed at least one friend’s wedding because you were on-call.*

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*or at least that was your excuse.

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15. At least one patient has compared you to Doogie Howser.

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16. The only book on your summer reading list this year is First Aid for the USMLE.

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17. No one will watch doctor shows with you because you obnoxiously point out all the medical errors.

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18. Real doctors ignore you.

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19. You’re afraid of saying, “I don’t know.”

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20. You feel like Dr. Mario over-prescribes.

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21. You’ve thought about what you want to be when you grow up more than you ever did as a child.

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