1. Ex-professional football players don't take odd jobs as RAs.
2. Your freshman dorm room won't be a kick-ass two-bedroom apartment.
3. You won't have all your classes with all your roommates in the same lecture hall.
4. Fraternities aren't DoubleDare.
5. Your high school girlfriend won't suddenly show up as your new roommate.
6. Your on-campus cafeteria isn't an intimate bistro.
7. Your student health clinic isn't a level-one trauma center.
8. Your hunky professors aren't interested in dating you.
9. Showing up to a campus party with the university mascot isn't something to be ashamed of.
10. Cast members from Night Court don't show up with turkeys if you stay on campus for Thanksgiving.
11. College professors don't go to your dorm room to die.
12. Raves don't spontaneously happen after hours in lecture halls.
13. You'll never cook freshman year.
14. Hunky alumni football stars don't need to Photoshop their pin-up posters.
15. You have more off-campus housing options than just condemned crack dens.
16. The dad from Wizards of Waverly Place won't be one of your poker buddies.
17. American Gladiators don't teach on-campus self-defense classes.
18. The Dean of Students won't take the time to meddle in your love life.
19. You won't be best friends with all your roommates.
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