1. A chic set of plated-brass pineapple shot glasses that double as decor.
2. A hedgehog hand brush who'll sweep surfaces with his bristle mohawk.
3. A set of succulents for a breath of fresh air.
4. A gorgeous white marble rolling pin that adds class to a new kitchen.
5. A mug that screams "them," not "given out for free at that fundraiser in 2009."
6. A trio of dad-joke tea towels.
7. A set of stoneware lidded storage bowls to replace their mismatched Tupperware.
8. A candle that'll warm their stressed-out heart.
9. A coffee table book for giving a room some dimension.
10. His & hers pillowcases for the newlyweds' new abode.
11. A miniature waffle maker for the most important meal of the day, which is whatever meal includes the waffles.
12. A vintage-y steel first-aid box for storing the essentials in style.
13. A set of just-add-tomato-juice Bloody Mary mixes for throwing brunch at their place.
14. A safety apparatus that's not an eyesore.
15. Some really, really good coffee.
16. A set of acrylic frame magnets so you can cover their fridge in Polaroids of your face, because don't let them think for a second that moving means they can forget you.
17. A set of classic hammered-copper mugs for Moscow mules.
18. An herb gardening kit that'll make their new digs come alive in springtime.
19. Concrete pillars that can house plants or tea candles.
20. A "congratulations" cake to celebrate the big move and provide food for every meal until they finally fill the place with groceries.
21. Stackable mason jar measuring cups for a little Southern charm.
22. A cocktail subscription box that gives them all the tools of an expert entertainer.
23. Geometric ceramic and wire vessels that'll update their desk or vanity.
24. A board game that's not a disheveled cardboard mess.
25. And if all else fails...bubbly.
The reviews for this post have been edited for length and clarity.