1. A silicone steamer in the shape of a faceless, melting pig.
2. This welcome alternative to lying your head down on a *real* skin-on salmon fillet.
3. A Gummy Bear anatomy puzzle, or: a Gummy Bear-shaped torture chamber filled with the small animal that died trying to escape it.
4. 80 pages of challenge accepted.
5. A vinyl wall decal of half an Asian businessperson.
7. What you've heard is a lie, it's actually sautéing your placenta that's the most rewarding part of parenthood.
8. An air freshener that's always got your back.
9. A fleece throw blanket that reminds others what you look like without skin.
10. Five pieces of centaur that go on your fingers to create one full centaur and several whole minutes of fun.
11. A plush tonsil for anyone who's parted with an actual one.
12. This is a dick trophy.
13. The actual reason some people drool in their sleep.
14. A set of small hands that you place on each finger to make it look like your fingers have fingers.
15. A hat for looking like a botched mansquid unwelcome at the X-Mansion cool table.
16. A business-casual, disembodied husband pillow with lifeless hand detail.
17. 90 servings of Dippin' Dots.
18. An afro wig for dogs.
19. A pocket-sized suture pad so you can practice your flesh sewing on-the-go.
20. Just two anthropomorphized resin bananas fucking each other reverse-cowgirl.
21. A pair of live Madagascar Hissing Cockroaches for $16, which at $8/roach is a steal.
22. And a life-sized Bigfoot statue that's a six-foot-tall, 147lb. reminder of how you choose to spend your money.
The reviews for this post have been edited for length and clarity.