You're An Adult And This Is What Your Breakfast Cereal Says About You

Your morning bowl is so telling you may as well call them Myers-Briggs-O's

Lucky Charms

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Remember when mom would give in and buy a big, shiny box of Lucky Charms every so often? Remember the joy? The thrill? Yeah that was fun, but you're an adult now. There's a whole culinary world to explore and fulfill that same joy, so why are you still eating a bowl of marshmallows for breakfast?

You're nostalgic, a romantic, and a bit too hung up on the past. You have issues with your exes and keep a shoebox full of sentimental sundries next to a stack of journals in your closet. You look to others for happiness and find it difficult to generate joy internally. The simple saccharine cereal you're savoring belies a very complicated and deep individual. Cherish your life to the last maudlin 'mallow.

Off Brands Bags

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Typically located on the lower shelves of the breakfast aisles below the ritzy glamor of their rich, flashy cousins are the lowly off-brands. These bags of knock offs are the homely doppelgängers of traditional breakfast cereals we've become so familiar with and they cost a fraction of the price. When times are hard and you need to fill your pantry, this is your domain.

But maybe you prefer to cereal shop down in the slums of the aisle. Boxes are for wealthy fat cats, name brands are for selfish bastards. To hell with allowing a greedy corporation to define you and your breakfast. You're out for the deals. More bang for your buck is your M.O. A birthday is for cashing in all the free birthday coupons you've collected over the year. A second date is hard earned since you insist on choosing an economic route over a romantic one. You're probably eating your cheap cereal alone, living a happily minimal life sitting on an outstandingly balanced savings account.

Kashi

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Rise and shine, health nut! You're back from your pre-dawn half marathon and you need to carbo-load. Are you gonna reach for just any sugar stuffed cereal brand? HELL NO! You eat Kashi with skim milk! As ambient world music dubbed with whale sounds plays through your Boss sound system you relish in each bite of your bowl of whole grain goodness. Not because of the taste, oh no. The intellectual satisfaction of knowing that you only put the best of the best in your temple of a body is what stirs your satiety. But don't eat too much! All the fiber in that bowl may unbecomingly manifest itself during downward dog at your next yoga class.

Cheerios

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The perennial standby. Cheerios are fed to babies as they begin to eat solid food and any gluten intolerance notwithstanding, the tiny oat circles will remain a fixture in their diets indefinitely. And why shouldn't they? They're delicious, nutritious, and plain enough to never offend anyone!

If this is your go-to cereal you're as balanced as your breakfast. Sure you're open to adding a splash of sugar to your life now and then but a plain bowl of routine every day is how you like it. Gap dominates your wardrobe. The Beatles are your favorite band. Even if you didn't vote Romney, there was just something about him you quietly admired. You've got it all figured out and politely chuckle in disagreement at anyone trying to convince you otherwise.

Grape-Nuts

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Jerry Seinfeild's voice immediately begins in your head at the mention of this questionably named cereal: "What's the deal with Grape-Nuts? Not grapes, not nuts!"

What is the deal, indeed, Jerry?

Fans of this dubiously titled cereal are equally hard to pin down. If you're a Grape-Nuts eater you're probably eating it for it's versatility. Perhaps one day you'll have it straight up with milk, the next day it'll be topped over a parfait. You're an ever-changing jack of all trades and you need a cereal that can keep up with your wild and crazy life!

Instant Oatmeal

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Ew.

Here at Buzzfeed we don't judge and maybe you legitimately enjoy starting your day of with instant oatmeal. What can we glean about you and your affinity to this quick schlopp? You're life is probably in shambles, but you've got it together just enough to save some time for breakfast, however derelict it may be. You take it standing up in a small nook you've carved out for yourself among the filth that's accumulated waist-high in your squalid apartment. Sustaining a healthy relationship with other human beings is difficult IRL but you are a member of a robust online community based around some obscure MMPORPG that you play well into the night. If you're a man, you have or will have a neck beard. If you're a woman, you know a man with a neck beard. Long ago you've given up adding butter or cream or brown sugar to your bowl to enhance the flavor of your instant sludge. What's the point? By now, you're only eating to stay alive.