11 Things In The World That Have It Out For Your Phone

The microwave isn't your friend. Best Buy has the best plans, top carriers, and latest phones for everyone, including the Samsung Galaxy S®6.

1. Toilet will flush away your phone if you aren't careful.

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Pro tip: Stop carrying it in your back pocket.

2. Bathtub is patiently waiting for you to take a picture of your legs in the bubbles.

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One in every 10 hands is slippery; you've been warned.

3. Car wants to back it up on your phone. Literally.

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Never leave valuables on the roof of Car.

4. Coffee, Tea, Water, and Beer have formed an alliance.

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The liquid mafia is tracking your every move. Be wary of overflowing drinks, accidental spills, and seemingly empty cup holders.

5. Washing Machine gets all the goodies you leave in your pockets.

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Hurried laundry is one of the leading causes of phone death. Don't be the next statistic.

6. Microwave will promise a fast solution after accidental water damage.

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But you know what will actually happen? Your phone will catch on fire. In case of a water emergency, always seek the advice of a medical professional: Bowl of Rice.

7. Floor can't wait for you to trip.

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It finds pleasure in your foot catching a crack, the phone slipping through your butterfingers, and shattering into a million pieces.

8. Couch, the glutton that it is, wants to eat your phone as a snack while you innocently watch TV.

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Blanket is usually a co-conspirator.

9. Giant Magnets stay under the radar and strike when least expected.

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They are silent but deadly on the battery life of your phone.

10. But these are the least of your worries compared to Mind.

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Mind will play embarrassing tricks on you. (Side note: Mind is probably also the culprit behind the glasses you keep "losing" on your head.)

11. And, lastly, Time.

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After many years of Snake and T9, your phone will pass away in its sleep, giving you permission to move on to something new and, preferably, with a touchscreen. But don't worry, nothing will replace your old flip phone. Nothing.