11 Sounds That Will Make People With Misophonia Want To Kill You

Seriously, if you sip your tea like that again, I will take your face off.

1. Crunching

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You do realise that there are other people around you, right? Do you have to crunch so loudly? What are you eating, gravel?!

2. Breathing in whilst eating

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It's the short, sharp intake of breath just before you put your fork in your mouth. The same fork I'll stab you with, by the way.

3. Sipping a hot drink

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Seriously, there is no need to breathe in slowly for ages before taking the tiniest sip of tea which is only going to burn your tongue. Just wait for it to cool down, before I throw it all over you.

4. Typing

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Keyboard or BlackBerry, either way it won't feel so comfortable rammed up your backside.

5. Rustling a bag of crisps

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Or sweets, or whatever it is. Just put your hand in, pinch a crisp, and pull your hand back out. No need to rummage your fat fingers about like you're digging for gold. And then, of course, after a moment of silence, your start crunching. Brilliant.

6. Biting your nails

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Aside from the fact that it's a disgusting habit, the tapping of your plaque-ridden teeth knocking together makes me want to cut off your limbs with a pair of rusty pliers.

7. Heavy breathing

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In fact, it'd probably just be better if you stopped breathing altogether. You sound like Darth Vader with a sinus infection.

8. Scraping a yoghurt pot

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Is it really that necessary to get the very last dregs of yoghurt onto your spoon? Please, just learn when to let go. You make my bum clench.

9. Clinking cutlery

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The sound of your spoon hitting your dish as you greedily push your way through a slice of pie. It makes me want to spoon out your insides. AFTER KILLING YOU.

10. Sniffing

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Even if it's just the quiet sniffing, where it's not like you're even pulling back any snot. Please, get a tissue. Here, have a tissue. USE THE DAMN TISSUE.

11. Breaking up chocolate

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Some people feel the need to get a bar of chocolate and break it into each individual square, often whilst it's still in the wrapper. These are the kinds of people I would like to hurt. Badly.