1.
Kansas City Chiefs ---> (QB) Donovan McNabb
2.
NY Jets ---> VIA JACKSONVILLE TRADE ---> Fans who don't care about football
Jacksonville Jaguars ---> VIA NY TRADE ---> An autographed photo of Tim Tebow running shirtless in the rain
3.
Oakland Raiders ---> (FAT PERSON) Bruce Vilanch
4.
Philadelphia Eagles ---> Minnesota Vikings ---> Philadelphia Eagles ---> Fine... (QB) Geno Smith, WVU
5.
Detroit Lions ---> (DT) Sharrif Floyd
6.
Cleveland Browns ---> (LOL) Who cares?
7.
Arizona Cardinals ---> (TV) Netflix Account
8.
Bills ---> (BLANK) Draft Card
9.
NY Jets ---> Release (QB) Mark Sanchez
10.
Tennessee Titans ---> (OG) Chance Warmack
11.
San Diego Chargers ---> (COACH) Marty Schottenheimer
12.
Miami Dolphins ---> (RAPPER) Pitbull
13.
Tampa Bay Buccaneers ---> Forfeit Pick
14.
Carolina Panthers ---> (QB) Rookie Cam Newton + the ability to never age
15.
New Orleans Saints ---> (GAME) Apples To Apples
16.
St. Louis Rams ---> (CB) Leon Sandcastle
17.
Pittsburgh Steelers ---> (COMIC) Anthony Jeselnik
19.
NY Giants ---> (QB) Cooper Manning
20.
Chicago Bears ---> (OBLIGATORY) A year supply of cigarrettes
21.
Cincinnati Bengals ---> (OLD PERSON) Jiroemon Kimura
22.
St. Louis Rams ---> (WR) DeAndre Hopkins
23.
Minnesota Vikings ---> (ILB) Manti Te'o
24.
Indianapolis Colts ---> (BOOK) Maggie Goes On A Diet
25.
Minnesota Vikings ---> (INVISIBLE GIRLFRIEND) Lennay Kekua
26.
Green Bay Packers ---> (RB) Christine Michael
27.
Houston Texans ---> (VIDEO GAME CHARACTER) Scorpion
28.
Denver Broncos ---> (DUH) Xerox WorkCenter 7120
29.
New England Patriots ---> (WR) Matt Goldstein
30.
Atlanta Falcons ---> (QB) The friend that suggests we get Taco Bell when we're drunk
31.
San Francisco 49ers ---> (HARRY POTTER) Dementors
32.
Baltimore Ravens ---> (RB) Ray Lewis III