1. They Either Constantly Devalue Your Identity And Sense of Self... You may get the elongated "heeey" or catch that vague glimmer of recognition in their eye, but don't hold your breath, ERYN: you're only in for heartbreak once you step down the line. 2. ...OR Overwhelm You With Sudden Affection "Hey, Ben. How's the new apartment, dude? ...Oh, I heard you talk about it in line with your friend the other day. By the way, I love that song you're thinking of pulling up on your iPod next. Great choice, man. Same time tomorrow? Kay, cool." 3. Mixed Signals, All Day, Every Day Hastily misspelled version of your name + Overly detailed heart doodle....Yeah, you're on your own. 'Siri' is equally confused. 4. Their Hidden Talents Imply A Life You Know Nothing About Stephen Brashear "Wow, um, so do they train you guys for that?""Nope."...Cool. Where did you learn to do it?""Guatemala." 5. Their Skeevy Friend Dave Is Always There To Crash Whatever Rapport You're Trying To Build (Yes, Dave is the one on the right.) 6. You Will Inevitably Catch Them Making Better Conversation With The Person Right Behind You They're in the service industry. Of course, It was never exclusive on their end.