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15 Things Every College Senior Has Said Within The Last Month


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"I have no idea what I'm doing after graduation"

No mom, I don't have a post-grad job. No mom, I don't want to live at home after I graduate. No mom, I'm NOT going to do chores, I'm 22 years old!

"Oh my God I'm literally so poor"

I'd just be happy with a sandwich and maybe even a new pen at this point.

"I think I'm just gonna drop out of school now"

Who needs to know how to do research in the current consumer market, anyway?

"Hey, let's get a dog"

Since I'm clearly able to take care of myself and apparently have a disposable income, let's buy something that can't take care of itself!

"I think I'm gonna skip my class today"

Does it really even matter what the reason is? I'm not going either way.

"Does anyone know where my ______ is?"

Doesn't matter what it is, you're going to lose it.

And probably never find it.

Because your roommate stole it.

And then loaned it to your neighbor.

"I can't"

"Wanna go to the gym?"

"I can't"

"Why not?"

"...I don't want to..."


"I have an idea!"

Most of your ideas probably include getting fast food. Or drinking.


Some days, man. Some days.

*crying for no particular reason*

"What's wrong?"

"The weekend is like 3 days away"


"Anyone wanna drink tonight?"

Club going up, on a Tuesday.

"I have no food. I'm getting take-out"

This is pretty much the best justification for eating trash and not regretting it later. ("not regretting it later").

"I'm very single"

I love myself enough for 10 people.

"Do I have to put pants on?"

Pants aren't fun, which normally means wherever you're trying to drag me isn't going to be fun. I'll pass.

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