1. Never heard of French Braids you pompous fools?
2. Skin went from cool to cancer
3. One of these is not an Athlete (hint: look right)
4. Nakedness =/= “Hotness”
6. Fuck you, but no.
7. One is the Charleston, one is a seizure.
8. I’ll be Bach!
9. Stop Swooning over Justin Bieber you pedofiles!
10. As long as it is working, who gives a… oh wait, it stopped working.
11. One of these women knows what she is doing, the other is being sexualized and stands a good fuckin risk of burning herself with an acetylene torch.
12. Get your shit together. After she finishes that pineapple wedge, how is she going to pick up the next piece of fruit without making a mess? That’s right, you have no idea!
13. This modle Shoes is called “Whore hooves” Not for walking, only for “displaying the goods”. Nothing against whores though, as long as they don’t feel the need to ruin their backs.
14. Oh Puh-leaze!Stop the Fucking Nitpicking already. You compare two jumping Teens on the Beach with what? Orgies in Rome? The Backrooms of the Palace in Versailles? The Glitz of the Moulin Rouge? Ancient Greeks who will and have “partied” with anyone of any gender? No you pick a photograph of sisters. Is that a favourite fantasy? Dear Author of the article. Take this to your therapist, because it is a fucking goldmine. Maybe then you don’t have to wank your bits bloody over the Sears catalogue anymore before you cry yourself to sleep about how “hot” everyone is.