1. If you can read the band logo it's not brutal enough.
2. Black is the warmest color.
3. Smiling is only acceptable during omens such as these.
4. You'd rather listen to this cartoon band...
...than any real-life artists on this list.
5. You already know how this ends because you actually followed the case.
6. Arguing about genre labels is annoying.
Having said that, this is not metal.
7. Death metal/tech death albums are basically English courses...
8. And the University of Heavy Metal also offers courses in...
9. We don't always take ourselves so seriously.
10. We have the hottest female artists.
Same goes for the dudes.
11. "Oh, so you listen to screamo?"
12. You name-drop the list of pits you've been in like a wartime service record.
13. Any time someone brings up djent.
14. Metalhead or not - you can't deny this genre is overflowing with insanely talented and skilled artists.
15. And the same goes for the fans.
Party on, headbangers.
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