1.The only reason you've dragged yourself to the gym in the first place is because you feel guilty about that kebab you devoured the night before.
2.You always tell yourself that today will be different, that today you will put in HARD. FUCKING. WORK.
3.When you arrive at the gym you don't really know what to do, so you just faff about in the locker rooms for 10 minutes "preparing" for like, everything you're going to do today.
4.You spend an hour trying to make a playlist that will push you on through the pain.
5.You decide to start off easy and hop on the exercise bike.
6.But the exercise bike has different ideas and keeps telling you to "PEDAL FASTER".
7.When you've had enough of the exercise bike giving you attitude, you spend another 10 minutes wandering around pretending to scrutinise all of the equipment.
8.Eventually you realise people have noticed you're not doing anything so you hop on the treadmill because that's easy enough, right?
9.You don't know where your hands are supposed to go, running feels incredibly awkward, and you're 90% sure the entire gym is watching you trying not to fall over.
10.Having put in soooo much hard work, you use the floor mats to take a five-minute breather.
11.When you've finally talked yourself into having some kind of dedication to the task at hand, you decide maybe a couple of sit-ups will combat the cushion hiding your abs.
12.After one sit-up, you're basically done for the day.
13.You're sure the PTs have been watching you the entire time so you talk yourself out of leaving because you don't want to be ~that~ person.
14.Against your better judgement, you wander over to the free weights area.
15.You kind of just linger around the outskirts for a minute waiting for somebody to offer you a weight bench and it definitely doesn't feel incredibly awkward.
16.When you finally get a weight bench, you spend a while trying to adjust the bench to what you need. This would be simple but tbh you don't have the slightest clue what you need.
17.You don't really know what you can lift yet but you definitely don't want to seem like a wimp so you go for the weights that look like you mean business.
18.Against your better judgement, you take the weights back to your bench and just kind of...sit there for a minute like, "OK, what now?"
19.You get yourself into position and bring the weights down but then you realise it's too heavy to get back up and you can't do it on your own.
20.So you end up throwing the weights to the side and start rubbing your shoulder hoping that everybody thinks you've got some long-term injury from like, bodybuilding or something.
21.When you've been at the gym for a substantial amount of time, you leave and don't feel the need to return for at least three weeks.
22.But you'll always return because although you hate working out, at least there's nice looking people to ogle at.
23.You might even start to enjoy going.
24.But either way, you still fucking hate working out.
