1.Sex never happens without three or four cameras recording.
2.An average-size dick is eight inches.
3.You don't have to stop what you're doing to rummage around in your top drawer for a condom.
4.In fact, condoms aren't really necessary at all.
5.Scripted dialogue has to happen before sex, no buts.
6.Sex has to include a minimum of four positions or you're not doing it right.
7.Everybody has the stamina to fuck for hours if they really want to.
8.The only way to finish sex properly is with a facial.
9.You orgasm at least once during sex, every time.
10.Women squirt without fail.
11.Everybody's vagina and dick is straight-up bald.
12.Sex has to be hard and fast or you're not actually doing it right.
13.Everybody is flexible enough to get their legs behind their heads and bend themselves into other extraordinary positions.
14.Anal sex is easy and takes minimal effort.
15.Lube isn't really necessary ever.
16.You can fuck the landlord to say sorry for missing your rent payment.
17.If you're failing a class, you can just fuck the teacher and pass.
18.It doesn't matter if you don't have the money to pay for your pizza, you can just fuck the delivery guy.
19.And on your doctor's desk, in your teacher's stationary cupboard, and in the sea, are just some of the normal places everybody has sex at least once in their lifetime.
